Take it off! See. Love. Grow.
An unfulfilled life has less to do with what it is - and more with how you see it. Your fulfillment is often on the other side of a tough decision or conversation. It is in the resolving of conflict and the releasing of self-judgment that we grow the most. So, if you feel stuck in your career, relationships, or how you think about yourself, it’s time to “TAKE IT OFF” and show up as your authentic self. Joshua A. Fields and Jeremy Rubin co-host the “Take it Off” Podcast. As a master practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index with 15 years of executive leadership experience at a Fortune 10 company, Certified Executive Coach Joshua Fields has a proven track record of creating high-performing teams and environments for personal transformation. Renowned author, speaker, and founder of FACE Consulting, Jeremy Rubin, immediately impacts groups large and small using humor, personal stories, and practical, result-driven applications. These two have brought unique life experiences, skill sets, and energy to create an experience like no other. The mission is simple but not easy. It is to empower people with the skills to see and accept themselves and others clearly and without judgment to live a more authentic life. So, if you’re ready to live with purpose and curiosity and to get clear on what you want for your life, join us weekly at the “Take it Off” Podcast. Some concepts are based on and inspired by the coach training program Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).
Take it off! See. Love. Grow.
Acceptance: Find Power in Owning Your Part!
Are you tired of going through the motions of life, feeling trapped by your realities, and yearning for personal growth? We've got something for you! Our latest episode features a compelling chat with professional coach Joshua and Jeremy Rubin, who brings us to the heart of a conversation about acceptance and self-awareness. Using a gym analogy that is both relatable and impactful, Joshua enlightens us on how understanding and accepting our current circumstances can be a significant step toward unlocking our potential.
Pivoting toward radical honesty, we acknowledge our role in our current predicaments. Joshua and Jeremy emphasize the need to be open about our realities to work effectively towards our goals. We also examine our mistakes and learn how they can be stepping stones toward personal growth and self-discovery. So, lean in, listen, and embark on a journey toward acceptance, self-awareness, and personal growth. You are your most significant project, and it's time you started treating yourself as such.
Resource: How to Accept Yourself, Your Life, and Your Reality.
Find us on our online platforms:
Co-Host: Joshua Fields ACC, CPC, & Master ELI Practitioner
Website: https://joshuafields.coach/
Instagram: https://instagram.com/joshuaafields?igshid=NDc0ODY0MjQ=
Email List: https://archive.aweber.com/newsletter/awlist6189433
Co-Host: Jeremy Rubin, Keynote Speaker, Author, Consultant, Sales Leader
Website: http://faceconsultinggroup.com/
Welcome to the Take it All podcast, where we see love grow. I am your co-host, jeremy Rupin, and I'm here with my guy, joshua A Fields, and he's bobbing his head. You guys can't see that.
Speaker 2:So it's coming. Oh yeah, I've been doing my own thing. Love has always had a way of having that time.
Speaker 1:Okay, you gotta at least stay in the same key.
Speaker 2:But to mywhat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't, you were all over the place.
Speaker 2:But, to my great surprise, ever since I looked in your eyes, I had one question for you. Hey, tell me if you want me to and if you want my time I won't make it good for you how you doing bro, because you blow my mind.
Speaker 1:B and M. We have a hard stop today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:Man bro, I'm over here on my groove theory. You know who was a problem Unbeknownst to me? Amel Arou From groove theory. I always call her the groove theory chick, but she's a whole. She was. She's just Just before her time. Yeah, possibly. Yeah, oh for sure, she doesn't, she doesn't. She doesn't get enough of that 90s R&B crush energy. She just doesn't.
Speaker 1:It's because she was who was in the 90s R&B crush.
Speaker 2:Oh man, so she was in a group. Well, actually it was a group. It was in Vogue. I remember being in myit was one of the first videos I saw on MTV and it was therewhat was the video? Hold on, hold on to your love you got. I was like, oh my God, this is what they look like when they get older.
Speaker 1:This is what they look like when they get older.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, yeah, yeah. That whole group was like my first girl crush, like whoa. And then, obviously, you know, when Miss Knowles hit the scene, it was a rap, anyway, that's justI'm just going over myyou know. But Mel Aruse stands out as one of those in hindsight, you know, because it was just a lot going on. She was just surrounded by a lot of power. Aliyah is another one. Oh, I love Aliyah. Four page letter, absolutely. That video, oh God, smooth Didn't do too much, you know, justjust heard. You know it just had an energy. I mean, you can ask Dame and Jay-Z. They both had crushes on her.
Speaker 1:I think she might be 17 at the time. Well, there was athere was a pattern here where he was going to move on from that. There's a pattern here. Yeah, that justI felt like just too many people were crushing on her, too young. She just didn't have a chance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she just didn't likewhere are the pages? There was an industry pattern going on. Yeah, oh, oh, absolutely, yeah, absolutely oh. Another thing yeah, but that's not what our episode. Yeah, that's not what our episode is about today it's about our crushes right now.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about girl crushes from the 90s.
Speaker 1:Today's title is actually just accept it, and we will be utilizing an article from Inccom entitled how to Accept Yourself, your Life, your Reality. There is nothere is so much power to just accepting what is. Sometimes we want to do everything but accept what is. Joshua, you're a professional. You're a professional coach extraordinaire, okay. So when you're out here just is there any examples high level of the power of your clients accepting what is maybe a starting point to move to where they want to go?
Speaker 2:It's everything.
Speaker 2:I mean it's one of the most difficult parts of someone having radical honesty with themselves for them to be able to love who they are as is.
Speaker 2:I mean it's in our title See, love, grow, see who you are as accepting partners and being able to build the skills to see yourself without judgment, because we have to be able to see what we've done, how we've done it, who we've done it with, why we've done it, and allow those reasons to be exposed consciously, which is the work that I help people do and have a radical, honest conversation about where you are so you can accept it, because the refusal to accept it is going to cause you to continue to repeat the pattern over and over and over again of something that you're trying to break.
Speaker 2:So you can evolve and grow and move to the next level, which is a constant you never can grow too much. You can never love yourself too much, so that becomes the challenge. But the failure to accept where you've been and how you've lived your life is ultimately going to be an obstacle in your pursuit of growing and loving. So you can establish boundaries that protect you from Not being fully transparent, authentic self Right, because your failure to accept something is a journey around, a failure to accept who you are, and that has major outcomes and implications for you to continue to contort, shrink and play small in places that you've outgrown.
Speaker 1:And, to be fair, we've been practicing a lot of this our entire life. Right, Practicing what? Practicing not accepting what is Absolutely Practicing, telling yourself a different story. Practicing not accepting how we feel. You know being in relationships or in constructs to say that that's not important. What's important is the bigger thing or the you know, the greater thing and how you feel you just need to kind of put aside or what you want is maybe foolish your child's play, I think you know this goes across cultures. This goes across. There's this idea that you know minimizing you, especially when other people are involved in have invested that have a dog in the fight when it comes to your outcome, or at least they believe, gets you to a position where you may not move towards accepting what is right. You have a tough time accepting what is, especially if you come from cultures of judgment and so it's just a thing. And so, just into moving into the curriculum, the first thing they say is accept yourself.
Speaker 2:Is your energy going to be this low? The whole podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, my energy is great, Okay.
Speaker 2:Have you accepted that your energy is trash? I'm not worried about you Because when you try to tell me a different story about your energy being great and I'm like, okay, that's bullshit, so now we're not going to be able to really lean in. I'm not worried about you, because if you just acknowledge that your energy is trash, then and the fact that you're shooting live from the forest.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm not worried about any of that. Okay.
Speaker 2:So accept yourself Okay.
Speaker 1:Accept that your energy is trash. Accept that your energy is garbage Okay. The first thing we say about your energy is accepting yourself. Accept that your energy is trash, because that means that your energy is trash. So accept yourself, okay, because that means the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are at subar. So let me say it again Acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are. That means the parts that you don't want anybody to see and the belief that you won't get there, the belief that you won't do it, that all of those things are working together for what you actually want, that all of those things are worth accessing, that all of them have unconditional value. That means that you acknowledge all of yourself the good and the things that need improvement.
Speaker 1:For most of us, self-acceptance can be hard. We tend to be critical of ourselves. But there are a number of ways to learn to accept yourself and your life. It all begins with the state of mind. I would say that this is so true. I mean you can have a mind shift. Nothing can change. Same money in the bank account. You could be with the same person or not. With the same person. You could be in the same job, but the way that you think about it radically changes your energy and how you impact the people around you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that, uh, that, uh. I always use a gym analogy when I whip my clients. When we talk about, um, accepting where you are and the gym, the. The parallel that I bring to the gym is you know, you might hire a trainer like, all right, I want to get better at bench press. I mean, that's probably telling myself exactly what Bench has always been a thing. Right, I've always felt weak when I look at myself and other guys that can bench more, and two plates and three plates and all that other stuff. But there's no way I'm going to be able to live to two to 25, 25, whatever it is. Um, if I don't accept that, well, we're on 135 right now. Mm, hmm, no, no, no, I put two plates on there. I got it. I'm a workout with two plates.
Speaker 2:Now you can make some prog. I mean, you can get stronger lifting the heavier weight. But are you being busy or you being effective? If I accepted that my strength is at a certain level, then I get to work on myself at that level to build the strength to be able to lift wherever my one max, wherever my one rep max is or wherever I'm trying to get to. But I need to accept where I am and lift the weight where I am and then incrementally add additional weight over a period of time. So my body continues to incrementally grow and I don't I don't hurt myself, I don't injure myself trying to lift too much weight too quickly and you see this all the time, with ego lifts and guys snapping their legs and you know all kind of stuff happens in the gym culture. But it's a great parallel for where we are in our life. Sometimes you're in situations that you are being destroyed by it because you don't have the resilience or you don't have the strength yet because you refuse to accept where you really are.
Speaker 1:Well, which is a pride thing. Absolutely. It's ego, ego, right, I can't. What do you mean? It's just coming from me like bench presses my weakest area too. And then I'm a big guy. So I get in the gym and people look at me like, oh, you should be putting a blank, but you're not Like, and again, they could not even be worried about me. But in my head I've decided that when I go to the bench, the entire gym is looking to check for the results, right. And so, like you said, yeah, maybe I get a higher rate off once or twice, and now I've satisfied my ego or how it looks, but I've not built the strength I need in this area, because I really need to be closer to what I actually do and work there, right, but it's accepting, like you said, this is where I am, and not given a damn what people have to think, especially how I think people are thinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like that's huge. Yeah, I mean this comes up even in my partnership with Amber. We've had difficult conversations about. This is just where I am, this is just where I am.
Speaker 2:And if we don't accept where your partners are, or where your, your friends are, or even where you at professionally, even by where you be, your child is like I raise you better than this, how'd you turn out like this? Because there's an outcome and there's a judgment about the outcome that we're trying to get to, that that blinds us to what's right in front of us. You know, there's a saying in church pride comes before the fall. Yep, right, it's that pride and that ego that blinds you from what's in front of you, so you can't access or see clearly about what's in front of you. And I can move us on the point to acknowledge your reality.
Speaker 2:Sometimes facing reality isn't the easiest thing to do, because we're living a story that's not present. We're so down the road, attached to the outcome that we that we're working towards that we've been raising our kids for, and then, when that doesn't happen, we're devastated. What do we do? But accepting your current situation can make you happier in being present, to lead to a future that is much more aligned with where you are. So understanding, accepting and working with reality is both practical and purposeful. Acknowledging your reality will help you choose your dreams wisely and then help you achieve them.
Speaker 2:But when you're so committed to something that doesn't exist, you're going to disappoint yourself every time and you're going to stay in a cycle of victim mode. Why didn't this work out for me? This always happens to me. I can't believe it. Now you're going to start to disengage from doing the work to change your reality because you haven't accepted the reality that's in front of you. You're attached to some reality that doesn't even exist. So now you're, now you've been now you're now.
Speaker 2:Now we're being busy with something that isn't even for you and that has impact on your fulfillment, on your satisfaction, on how you engage in relationships, how you avoid relationships. That's why I don't fuck with people, because this, this, is not the other thing. You, you've taken one thing that didn't match what you want and now it's become this indictment on all people, and you can see this, I see this on social media a lot in failed relationships or friendships that don't work out, or whatever it is. If you're going to be committed to your own thriving mission and you're not just in survival mode. You have to accept that you're surviving right now and then develop the skills that that that unlock your potential to move towards what's thriving for you. But not acknowledging your reality is going to continue. It's almost like you're in a in a in a. What is it the metaverse in a in a? I'm missing a name. What is it? You put the goggles on and yeah yeah, the alternate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, Um bro, what is it?
Speaker 1:VR, vr virtual reality, virtual reality.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I was missing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was gargles the goggles on.
Speaker 2:Wow. None of it's real, although your brain thinks it's real.
Speaker 1:Oh, I put on some goggles at my work one time and this guy was like, he took me up an elevator it's like the I don't know 200 floor, and you know how I am about height. Yeah, and fam, you would have thought that I was littered on the edge of a building. I couldn't step up. I knew in my head I'm on the ground, but what I'm seeing actually, no, I don't know where was that? I don't know, cause the VR goggles were telling me I was, you know, 200 stories up. Yeah, I was not taking a step.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's, real.
Speaker 2:Think about that You're, you're somewhere where you're not, but your brain thinks that's where you are. That's why you can't everything that you tell yourself. You got to take that with you. Got to be mindful that that that's not true either. The way you're seeing the situation.
Speaker 1:Oh, and I think that when we talk about, you know, some of our, our level three energy is we know that Like we can tell ourselves what we need to tell ourselves to do to exact what we feel is necessary or what we want. Yeah, Like we just got to bend the story just a little bit, Absolutely, you know what I mean. Like like let's just bend it a little bit so it sounds I know what it kind of needs to sound like, and then you get around somebody who knows you. It's like seriously, that's what we're doing. Yeah, you can, you can talk that around the new people, but I know what's going on.
Speaker 2:And we'll just bend it. I have to do that with you all the time. Oh, my God, I feel the same way You're not talking to somebody, that just okay. Someone doesn't think bro, I know who you are, bro, yeah, yeah, this actually.
Speaker 1:This actually leads us really well into the next point, which is practice, radical honesty, which I believe you talked a little about. Yeah, when you can admit your own pretense, you can begin to powerfully create a new future. Denying your current reality, especially if it's a bad one, will not make it go away. Dealing with the bad stuff is a way to get to the good stuff, but it takes practice, practice, practice. Like it's not the problem, the issue, the thing that you need to address or face or deal with, is not going anywhere. As a matter of fact, we talked about this in other episodes that it can be. It is actually. The key to you ascending to the next level is dealing with the shit that's in front of you, and until you deal with it, it's just going to stay around like the reality is not going to change.
Speaker 1:So this accepting thing is not just something that's good for the soul, like, hey, let's accept because you need to love and value yourself. Yeah, I get that part. But it's also if you're not honest about where you are, you don't have any true north. Like you can't. How can you navigate, how can you move to a destination if you don't know where you are? Are you going to a mall? And the first thing that you do you know they have, you are here.
Speaker 1:You need to know where you are so that you can move to where you want to be. All right, you are here because if I don't know where I'm at, I can't possibly know where I'm going. It's impossible, and I think that that becomes so scary for a lot of people. Where you just where you just take honest inventory of where you're at, because you got to admit that, man, maybe it didn't all pan out the way I wanted it to pan out. And then, on top of that, maybe I feel like I'm running out a little bit of time and so I don't want to admit that I'm not as far along as I want to be Right. Maybe I don't want the expectation or pressure, but this step three practical or practice, radical honesty is necessary, moving to the direction that you want to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so good, that's super good. Um yeah, there's a principle that comes up from my coaching education and it says doing is work, being is effortless, and it's so true, like we get in our own way, if you were radically able. This is a skill, though. Right, we're designed to be able to come to do work, but as you develop the work, or as you develop the skills to just radically accept what is life becomes a bit more effortless. You actually need both of them. You have to do the work to be more radically you, because so much of the world tells you that you're not good enough as designed. And the world meaning that ex-girlfriend, that job, your social media scrolling, this constant comparison to. If I was just this, then I could be more of what we haven't even accepted who we are, right, where we are. So you being this thing you're comparing yourself to. Well, hold on, I was trying to get to the lawn and garden, but I don't even know that I'm in the bathroom.
Speaker 1:I'm not K-Swiss. I thought K-Swiss was close.
Speaker 2:I'm K-Swiss, so you navigate your life aimlessly, constantly chasing an illusion or a mirage. So if you never know, if you don't know where you're going, how will you know when you get there? Being radically honest establishes oh wait a minute. Let me take the blinders off of where I am, and this isn't a negative thing, it's just a thing.
Speaker 1:It's just a thing.
Speaker 2:You need to know where you are. You need to be able to evaluate. Yeah, I was kind of driven there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or maybe you're okay with where you are Right, but think about it.
Speaker 2:Tell yourself the whole story. Yeah, yeah, right, be open to the whole story, not just the parts of the story that didn't work out and now your life is shit. No, no, come on. What's the whole story? Yeah, you're right where you are for a reason and we're not going to say, and it's a good reason or something, but no, you're just where you are Because it's about this journey and not trying to get to some destination, because there's never enough of anything that will fulfill us. Welcome to the human condition. So we need to accept that the journey is going to come with spaces that we elevate, we grow, we expand, we emerge and then one day we expire to make room for the next set of humans that will emerge, expand and expire. This has been going on for millions of years, people, and we think we're trying, we think we're getting somewhere, but one day the universe will expire as we understand it Right, right, because that's what it's been doing.
Speaker 2:It has emerged, it expands. You hear all the time about the universe and the edge of the universe. To keep you know, there's new stars and all kind of stuff going on that just blows my mind, and then one day, this version of our universe will reach its limits and expire. That is the design of the creator. So what do you think you? Who do you think you are in the midst of that? If anything, this should wake you up to be radically honest about where you are and get really aligned with who you want to be, and then do the work to be that person, right? So, anyway, that's just my two cents on that, brother.
Speaker 1:Buddy, you want to move us into identify your friend. Don't be, don't be moving.
Speaker 2:Don't be. No, we got a hard stop, but don't be. I was just on a point to be made. Your energy number four identify your part. To fully accept your reality is important to acknowledge any role you may have played.
Speaker 1:So called people be acting like they just didn't play a role so called Right right.
Speaker 2:Acknowledge your role. Acknowledge your role Because sometimes, like 99% of the time, you're in your own way. Yeah, who you decide to relate with, who you decide to connect with, transact with, emote with, it's your energy, it has impact on your energy. I can't end that friendship because I've known him for a thousand years, but I just met this other person. That makes me feel really good right now. They see me for where I am now. Sometimes these years become blind spots that hold us back because it's comfortable. So we can't end the relationship.
Speaker 2:We can't end working for a certain company because of we've elevated time as to become the thing that should inform you about how successful something is or how important that is for you because of the time spent. If you're radically honest about the part that you play in your own destruction or your own construction, you'll tolerate less of things that do not serve you or amplify you. To fully accept your reality, it is important to identify that you may have done something to foster the things to your benefit or to your detriment, and oftentimes you are the source of both.
Speaker 2:Once you know that what you're dealing with this is the bar, once you know what you're dealing with now, you can organize a plan and a strategy to be tactical about how to take the next best steps forward that amplify you. But if you fail to identify your role or your part in a situation you don't even know you're shrinking, you actually don't even want to know you're shrinking and we get into all our episodes that talk about this, ignoring red flags, the ego being the enemy, pseudo-exceptionalism All these things are blind spots that hold you back from being able to move forward with the most amount of information that will help amplify who you are.
Speaker 1:So who's going to make the best trap? If there was going to be a Joshua trap, something to keep Joshua from moving forward, who makes the best trap? Joshua, joshua does Joshua, and why we would create our own trap. Why I think typically it's guided by our fear. I don't really. I'm telling y'all I want to step out, but I'm facing a lot of fear.
Speaker 1:So, instead of just being radically honest about that part, I'm just going to create a trap, because in some cases, if I can look like the victim, at least I don't have to be honest about where I'm at. Oh, sabotage, yeah. Yeah. I'm sabotaging this thing the entire way, because I tell you, for some people, the scariest thing to get is everything that you wanted, like, for some people, it's getting everything that you said that you wanted. And now how do I manage the responsibility of this? Because it's one thing to get, it's another thing to keep it and that's going to take a constantly evolving version of yourself. What do you think that these companies are doing to stay on top? You think that they're sticking with the same strategies? You think?
Speaker 2:that they're I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. They're sticking with the same people. I don't think that there's a reason that all attrition is bad. No, because we have to continue to evolve, otherwise we're going to get left behind, and part of evolving is admitting that, hey, there's some change that needs to be made. And I feel like a lot of times we get so caught up in the Like you talked about earlier, these versions of ourselves that haven't even emerged yet, based on what we feel people want and need from us, right, that we're moving in a direction that doesn't even serve us. We haven't accepted where we're at, like what's going on, right. So it's one of those things. I think that the next step is admit your mistakes, like, admit your mistakes. Remember that you can't fix anything until you admit there's a problem. Try to view your mistakes not as failures but as learning opportunities, and have the strength within to realize you control your reality and you're the only one who can change it. Let me say that again yeah, go for it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I got a couple of points on that really quick.
Speaker 1:You control your reality. You're the only one that can change it. Decide what's important to you and set your mind to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So one of the first principles that I learned in my coaching program was the number one principle is you cannot make a mistake and that obviously, people at a certain level of consciousness go what about? And this is you absolutely can't make mistakes. And I made mistakes and I had to learn. So you had to work from, you had to learn from them. So what is a mistake? You're mistakenly learning things. Does that make sense If you remove mistake out of it and say I'm just living, there's some outcomes that are that I like. There's some outcomes I don't like. There's some things that work for me, there's some things that don't. I did this.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we can make a quote, unquote mistake and it has major benefit for the rest of our life, absolutely so. Was it a mistake? What's a bad experience? Was it a mistake on your life or was it a part of who you're supposed to be? Are you a mistake Like that's really what you're, that that's really what we're saying? Are you a mistake how you live, how you move? No, you're not. You're a small version of life that's navigating and experiencing and impacting things without mistakes. Where would we be Right? The mistake is a part of the design, but it's designed for mistakes. Oh, we put the tree of the knowledge of the people.
Speaker 1:In the garden of Eden. Whatever you do, kids, dad's about to go outside. I'm going outside, y'all can do whatever you want in here, but you see that tree over there. Yeah, the one with the fire fruit on it, that one, whatever you do, don't touch that. I'm not going to be looking, but children, do not touch that tree. Yeah, I got you dad Cool In comes, you know. He just don't want you to touch that tree, but I'm already knowing.
Speaker 2:I got a serpent that be running his mouth and then I got the tree. That's hella fire. Don't, don't eat it. I'm setting my by design.
Speaker 2:There's something in us that always wants to smoke too, because I put it in Yep, I've designed you this way, so the things that we call mistakes and I noticed might be tough for people to accept. That's fine, sign up for my coaching program and I help you accept it, because it's very necessary for us to accept how we are as humans and we can attribute whatever creation story or grab whatever narrative from our religious texts to inform us about who we are. But at the end of the day, we have a curiosity, we have a free will. We have been designed a certain way. Some mistakes, so called on quote unquote, are a part of our path to what to grow and evolve, to experience pain, to experience pleasure. Right, it's not so binary. There's so many nuances in between our experiences that we can't we can't oftentimes we can.
Speaker 2:Will Smith said this to no one can tell you who you are. You have to find out who you are. Is that person's journey that's doing them Well? Their journey has all these idiosyncrasies and nuances and we can see, we can see some comparison of the human experience. But who you are is so unique and special Will never be another one of you, ever again. So your quote unquote mistakes that are been designed for your journey because you're alive, are for you, they will create whoever you will be. When you become conscious of that, see cuz sometimes that could sound scary. Well, who I want to be? I'ma just just while out then, okay, but you can only while out for so long.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right until you have to be confronted with the choices of your while and out, mm-hmm, and the pain is inevitable, but the suffering is optional. You can continue to be impacted by that, those choices, and Disengage and that's a result. People do that all the time or you can lean into the discomfort and make some conscious decisions about Alright, where am I gonna take my life now? And let that, that pain or those mistakes that have come your way Now shape and reframe your future. But you have to accept everything about where you are, because you have decided to be where you are. Oh, shit, yeah, you have decided to be where you are. Make it count, cuz it's gonna count. Make it count in the way that you are inspired by.
Speaker 1:Oh it counts now. It counts now. One of the curriculums I developed, that one of the, the, the One of the Modules. The rule was I can look at you, I don't care what you say, but I can look at your routine and your to. Your routine is actually direct reflection of what's important in your life, absolutely, because sometimes we get caught up in what we say. I know I do, oh, yeah, this is important to me and I exhaust that talk. This is important, this important thing.
Speaker 1:You look at my routine, it's like, well, that doesn't really line up and Then that becomes the rub. That's why you know you're dealing with so much. You're dealing with this crazy cycle. You're dealing with the in between, because what you say is important, which is important to you, is not in the line with your actions, and that becomes something where it becomes a breeding ground for, like, judgment and disappointment and I'm that expectations. Yeah, man, so you want to talk about just getting clear, like, just getting clear in general, try, okay, well, this is important to me now. How do I make space for it in my schedule? Yeah, let me make space for it because, like you said, it all counts now whether it counts towards what you actually want. No, that's something different Absolutely, but you gonna count. You go one day, go back and do some inventory and be like man. Why did I put my time there? Why didn't I put my time over here? So, while you have the energy, let's definitely do something about it. Why don't?
Speaker 2:you move?
Speaker 1:on song to the next point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it closes out on point six own your outcomes. Working toward owning every part of your reality, not just the things that need work, but also your strength and successes. Owning all your outcomes can help teach you to do better next time and To see failure as a learning moment. Again, it almost amplifies the point around mistakes. You cannot make a mistake. Yeah, if I own the way I live that. No, that means that there's gonna be things that I like and there's gonna be things I don't like. There's gonna be some things, some advantages and some disadvantages. There's gonna be some outcomes that I like how that aligned, and it's like I don't like how that aligned.
Speaker 2:But the point is is that you're on this journey Learning more about yourself, and you can't do that without disappointment and failure. I Can't get stronger in the gym if I do not fatigue my muscles to failure. It's not gonna happen. You're gonna stay the same. You're gonna look the same. You're going to be the same. You're not gonna be as effective as you can be without moving your muscles, interacting with them, breaking them, that muscle tissue down to failure. You're not gonna get in, you're not gonna condition your body if you never experienced I'm talking about that burning lung feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know I'm saying, well, you're like, oh man, my stomach. I didn't. I'm yeah, you're now you're conditioning. Yeah, right, and I've been there when I'm trying to get in shape and I'm like, okay, to take it to another level. I got it. I got a deal with this pain of my lungs burning a little bit. Now again it can go too much, but just that, oh okay, because the next time I come back I'm gonna be able to run faster, harder and stronger, because I experienced the pain of my lungs, reaching failure and then burning.
Speaker 2:But that is what creates the change. It does not happen without you experiencing failure. So what I what's really coming up for me is embrace your life as designed. It will create a beautiful struggle of an individual. If you are consciously aware that failure, struggle, difficult moments, all this is to your benefit. There's a scripture in the Bible or at least my mom used to say it all the time. I don't know if he was in by where. Now it probably is. I just blanking on the reference we counted all joy. Count it all joy. Yeah, we counted all joy. Well, you may need help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, you may need help counting all joy, I mean part of part of this own, your own outcome Is. This, too, is a skill. So I know that we've talked about stories where I'll tell you, hey, this is what's going on, and I'm at a low point. Or you may tell me a story, this is what's going on, this low point, and we we're quick to say, okay, well, tell yourself the whole story, absolutely. Tell yourself the hard thing that you did. Tell yourself where you were eight months ago, 10 months ago, right. Tell yourself like, let's, let's talk about it all. I know that you're micro focused on this Thing. That is bugging you, that's irritating you, that tunnel vision everybody sees.
Speaker 1:But what I'm going to do for you because I'm not connected to that moment Is I'm going to help you with a little more tapestry. I'm going to help you with a little more tapestry. I'm going to help you with a little more, a more of this landscape that you have developed. Like, I get that this part of the garden is a problem, but let's not miss out on the beauty that you've done.
Speaker 2:And the issue is we surround ourselves with people in a lot of cases that won't remind us of the beauty that we've done, because they're impacted by the same shit we're being impacted by so instead of them saying, hey, that's good preacher, that's good preacher, that's what I want to look at everything that you've done.
Speaker 1:Let me look at your body, your work, not just this one thing I want to hone on. Yeah, right, so surround yourself with people I'm not saying people that will let you off the hook, or who don't say own your outcomes, but who are going to say own all of the motherfuckers. Own all of the outcomes. If we're going to own them, let's own all of it. Let's talk about all that I've done, not just the part that you want to To put a microscope on, because this is impacting you the most today. What have I done for the duration of this? Right, because, again, that's what memory is. Yeah, I'm grateful that the sun came up today, but I also got to understand it's been coming up for the last 40 some years of my existence. Yeah, right, and there's memories connected to that too. Yeah, you know. So I just think that it's all that. Surround yourself with someone who is, with people who are going to remind you to own all of your outcomes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah that's good brother.
Speaker 1:There's something to think about, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, we got a closeout though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, take the people with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is episode 35. With that poor voice you have, I hate you. This is episode 35 of take it off, okay, and? And you can help us by continuing to download, listen, share the content. You know we also want to be able to provide more shows that are connected to what you want to hear, so if you have any suggestions, hit us up. Joshua, as usual, it is always a pleasure working with you, brother, and uh, can't wait to shoot again next week.
Speaker 2:Hey, let's do it man. Hey, take it off, and take it off slowly. I don't want to miss a thing. We are so stupid.
Speaker 1:All right, fam, I love you, brother, all right, love you too, all right go.
