Take it off! See. Love. Grow.
An unfulfilled life has less to do with what it is - and more with how you see it. Your fulfillment is often on the other side of a tough decision or conversation. It is in the resolving of conflict and the releasing of self-judgment that we grow the most. So, if you feel stuck in your career, relationships, or how you think about yourself, it’s time to “TAKE IT OFF” and show up as your authentic self. Joshua A. Fields and Jeremy Rubin co-host the “Take it Off” Podcast. As a master practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index with 15 years of executive leadership experience at a Fortune 10 company, Certified Executive Coach Joshua Fields has a proven track record of creating high-performing teams and environments for personal transformation. Renowned author, speaker, and founder of FACE Consulting, Jeremy Rubin, immediately impacts groups large and small using humor, personal stories, and practical, result-driven applications. These two have brought unique life experiences, skill sets, and energy to create an experience like no other. The mission is simple but not easy. It is to empower people with the skills to see and accept themselves and others clearly and without judgment to live a more authentic life. So, if you’re ready to live with purpose and curiosity and to get clear on what you want for your life, join us weekly at the “Take it Off” Podcast. Some concepts are based on and inspired by the coach training program Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).
Take it off! See. Love. Grow.
Part 2: Keeping an Open Mind.
Ever felt trapped by your own thoughts, unable to break free from the cycle of negativity and limiting beliefs? Well, you're not alone. This episode invites you on a transformative journey. Together, we traverse the challenging path of maintaining an open mind, particularly when past trauma becomes a hindrance. We dive into the intricacies of our upbringing, education, and family values that shape our perceptions.
Find us on our online platforms:
Co-Host: Joshua Fields ACC, CPC, & Master ELI Practitioner
Website: https://joshuafields.coach/
Instagram: https://instagram.com/joshuaafields?igshid=NDc0ODY0MjQ=
Email List: https://archive.aweber.com/newsletter/awlist6189433
Co-Host: Jeremy Rubin, Keynote Speaker, Author, Consultant, Sales Leader
Website: http://faceconsultinggroup.com/
Welcome to take it all podcast where we see love grow. I am your co-host, jeremy Rubin, and I'm here with my guy. Before I even introduce him, the introduce him I like to say we went out last night for birthdays. We celebrate co-birthdays and my guy's just a gift man. I appreciate you, bro. I just want to let you know that from the whole world, the world, craig hey man, hey for the world.
Speaker 2:Hey, I just want to wish you a happy birthday. Your birthday was yesterday. Man Libra gang. Happy birthday to you, okay.
Speaker 1:I don't do that.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday.
Speaker 1:The kids saying happy birthday last night.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, jeremy. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.
Speaker 1:Okay, can you introduce who you are? Joshua Fields.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Joshua Fields. Executive coach to the stars like Jeremy Rubin.
Speaker 2:I spent time with leaders that serve in executive roles to help them give them some more clarity, be able to see their world with a bit more opportunity and less victim energy, and we also helped their teams align to that same profound insight. It has been a pleasure to serve with you on this podcast. We're episode 41. One year shy of our ages, even though it doesn't look like we're in that early 40 age stage. But be that as it may, my brother, you are your delight and the gift is in the way you serve me, our community, my family, and it has been a pleasure to see another year. When you think about how much ground we've covered in two years since we've been reconnected, it's been a while, bro. It's been a bismal, yeah.
Speaker 1:It has been a while.
Speaker 2:No, it's been a while, man. It's been enjoyable. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Speaker 1:I feel the same way. I love you brother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as you should. All right, what you got for us today.
Speaker 1:All right, again we are in part two of episode 41, part two of Keep an Open Mind, and we are going to be reconnecting with indeedcom the 10 steps to becoming more open minded. So we started with the first five in this article last week, and we're going to finish it up with the last five. So before we get started, though, I had a question for you, mr Joshua.
Speaker 2:What can I help you with?
Speaker 1:In your humble opinion, in your experience? Okay, Absolutely. What do you believe people have the toughest time keeping an open mind about?
Speaker 2:Events in their life that they were traumatized by. It is difficult, just even from my practice, for people and rightfully so, it's human condition, but rightfully so to deal with and grapple with. There's been a traumatic event, it is harming, it has affected me, and to access why, where, why this event ultimately had to come into my life and impact me the way it did. It's difficult for people to access. Oh, this was a part of my journey, this is a part of my design. I needed that particular pain from that particular event to then open and shape me into ways that are growing me and, depending on my mindset, that event will serve whatever purpose I allow it to serve in my life. And it's tough to be able to keep an open mind, especially when dressed clouds your vision and gives you less of the information available to you than you have. When you're able to relinquish some of that stress and see it from a from a 10,000 foot view, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's tough sometimes to get there, especially, you know, for me when I think about keeping an open mind. It's always tough, even if I made the shift. For me personally, it's always tough for me to keep an open mind about things that were like foundational pieces of my, you know, formative years growing up. Like this, my parents said this is right, this is wrong. I'm like reinforced that at a young age. That even you know and I, when I say parents, parents, family, school, all that, right, this is the route that you go to be successful for you. The moment I want to move away from that right, it becomes really tough to have an open mind.
Speaker 1:One and two, as we know, when you're moving towards great, you're going to have some struggles, you're going to bump your head, you're going to fall down and oftentimes when we fall down on a road that people that we care about or want to support us say don't go down.
Speaker 1:It becomes reinforcing what they said you see, you wouldn't have got hurt if you would have just stayed safe, absolutely Right. So then it's like if you can't push past that or don't push past that, then maybe there's something on the other side that you'll never see, but that conditioning to me. You know in your younger years what you were told. This is right and we've all had this conditioning, whether it's been from the churches we participated in. You know the people that have tried to keep us safe, the fear-based value system. Whatever the case may be, what I've noticed is that we all have it and we're all struggling with what's right for me. You know, how can I keep an open mind about what's right for me when, if I move, even what I believe is what's right for me sometimes I don't always feel good?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, but that's and that is looking at it through that level five lens. Right, we're looking for what will grow me, what will give me opportunity to be more of myself, but more of you isn't coming from comfort, right, you're? You're looking for opportunities that press you, that push you, that challenge you ultimately, and that is uncomfortable, and so sometimes the trauma or the things that we avoid are the very things we need to allow us to access more of our open mind being. There's a quote that a parachute functions best. A mind is like the parachute to function the best when it's open.
Speaker 2:And so being able to think about that simple truth for your own life and not be so attached to it has to be a certain way. It has to look like this and give yourself freedom to navigate in the nuances of what it means to be you. That takes a commitment not to be overly attached to what other people want you to be, to who you believe you're supposed to be for yourself, because I think you said this last night sometimes the death of our parents leaves us with this weight or a mantra that we feel like we have to steal, uphold, and not, they're not even anywhere around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're apparently gone to see that right, they're parenting while they're gone and and we do that right, and we want to give people the freedom to be empowered to make decisions that are consciously designed for them. That means that they have to take risk, that that, that expose them to more of their truth and not their parents' truth on why they are passing down a fear-based value system that either held them back or benefited them or whatever. But everybody has their own way to do things and you have to have an open mind that allows that influx of information to come in and not be judged, so you can use what fits and you can discard what doesn't, and sometimes the thing that you discard it might be waiting on you later in life to pick back up and say, wow, I have enough of an open mind to use this tool, or whatever it is, to shape my mindset about how I want to move going forward. So, anyway, a lot of good stuff here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, one of the things that I'm being more open minded about is and I'll probably reference this later. Remind me to reference this later when you have to admit that you're wrong about certain things is that I grew up in a lot of constructs that gave kind of this linear approach, like they're gonna be a fuse. These are the steps and then this is the conclusion. This is the introduction, these are the steps, this is the conclusion, and what I've noticed in buying into that is that there is no space for maybe this doesn't like in cleanly or maybe this, like this, is a continual process.
Speaker 1:So instead of going from point A to even point Z, you're moving in this circle that's continuing to change and adapt and evolve as you do, and the idea that there is no finishing of anything right and at the end of the day, everything's gonna finish right, becomes a space of can be freedom, but it can also be fear, because it's like I want it to look a certain way. Well, you don't really have control over it, looking specifically what you want, because there's other factors that come in. So I'm even having to keep an open mind about how I think and how I approach problems, solutions, my dreams, all of these stuffs. To move from something that's more, from something that's very rigid, to something that's more fluid? Yeah, absolutely. But as we're moving on, let's move into the meat of the article, okay, so, number six.
Speaker 1:I hate you. Number six is make new connections. Okay, I'm gonna say this again make new connections. The article reads connecting with people who have a variety of perspectives on life is a good way to become more open-minded. Seek connections with people you may not often encounter or interact with for a long period.
Speaker 1:I think that this is so important for us to remember because, to me, this is very counterintuitive for most people. It typically we wanna go and sit with people who reinforce what we already believe, how we already move, how we already act. There's some comfort there, right, and I would just say, especially because again in America we can get real visceral around election season, especially as we're moving forward and may or may not have new leadership. Whatever the case may be, instead of using our differences as fences to keep us away from other people that may be inviting somebody over because they have a difference, in keeping it open here and making a new connection intentionally can be the beginning of a lot of growth. But again, I really believe that this is not intuitive for a lot of people. How do you feel?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was gonna ask you why do you think it is difficult for people to access that intuition?
Speaker 1:Say it in a different way.
Speaker 2:What makes this difficult for people to make new connections?
Speaker 1:Because nobody wants to be wrong. You know what I mean. Again, I think when we're younger it's a lot easier, like I'm just kind of going back to even like my U-Dub days right in the dorms, talking to different people, being very interested about what people had as far as a difference of opinion or a way that they looked at things. But then as we get older, I feel like we really start to cement into who we are. We get on this track of like this is work for me. It don't have to work for you, but it works for me. So the idea that I'm gonna bring something new into this recipe it may end up impacting how I'm already rolling.
Speaker 1:Like my confidence is knowing that what I do on a daily basis produces a certain level of fruit. And for you to bring something new to me that I have to consider like that I don't know that can mess some things up. Maybe that's for you but that's not for me, and I see this a lot, especially with guys who isolate themselves. You know, if it's just work, family home, if they're gonna bring anybody in, it's gonna be somebody that's connected to those things, and we just don't make a lot of space for new people Cause, like I said, at the end of the day, I think that it becomes an ego thing, it becomes a pride thing, stubbornness, or just connected to what you've already always grown up with.
Speaker 2:Which, yeah, what you're familiar with.
Speaker 1:What you're familiar with, but bringing in something new is like wait a minute, well, you ain't coming here with them. Weird ideas, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Don't break up a happy home, whatever the case may be.
Speaker 2:And this is what I think moves us into to point seven experiencing different media. The article points out, is considering other people's perspectives becomes easier when you know more about the person. So books, podcasts, movies, understanding the way people think, why they think, the way they think, can help you empathize with their point of view, even though it could be a point of view that when you see that point of view play out, you're just like, ah, that doesn't really fit me or I don't understand enough about how that would benefit me in the moment. So I'm still okay with letting people be okay with what has grown and developed them to be right where they are. Yeah, and sometimes right when there's a need to be right. I am the way, the truth and the light. No man coming to the father except by me. I'm not doing this with you. No, I'm not doing this with you.
Speaker 2:You know, it's a part of my lived experience where, when we're overly got attached to what's right and if this is right, that's wrong it makes it very difficult for us to access and experience other people's perspectives Right, because I'm so attached to what's right I'm hearing you tell me about oh yeah, my experience with this religion or this mindset or this philosophy. Well, you can say all you want to say, but that's wrong and that's off. I have what's right so I can hear you, but it's difficult for me to listen to you and then elevate that listening tool to empathizing and being in your spot to understand your perspective. And so being open minded allows you the flexibility to try on other thoughts. I even encourage my clients when we're in our sessions, you get a chance to be radically on it, and sometimes they're walking away with insights and perspectives that they may have entertained or may have been curious about, that have stuck with them, but they suffocate all those thoughts or those perspectives in fear of if I start talking this way or bringing these subjects up to other people, they're going to look at me and think, oh, we're, my community might reject me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there's so much value in allowing yourself to be open. That's why I travel Right. And yet we're talking about engaging in spaces where you are uncomfortable, where everybody's not aligned with what the group thinks. There's freedom, even if it's just you and one on one with an individual that you can be fully expressed with, to allow yourself to experience these other perspectives that you've gained from opening up a more dynamic world to yourself that you can benefit, as that helps pry your mind open to receive more information, ultimately to make some more informed decisions about who you ultimately want to be authenticated.
Speaker 1:Well and I see a lot of this even in transition and leadership right, it's like I had this boss and this is the way we did it. You want to come in here with this new stuff. You haven't even given me an opportunity. I saw you know, I'm sure you see this in consulting. I saw this when I was out in the field consulting. It's like, okay, well, I'm not a part of the culture that you guys have created by designer default. I'm just looking at, like I can see very clearly because I'm not connected to all the emotions, all the hurt, absolutely.
Speaker 2:All the pain.
Speaker 1:I'm not connected to Nanna that, but there's a screw right there that needs to get screwed in. Did you call that, nanna that? Yeah not Nanna.
Speaker 1:that none of it, Nanna that Okay, nanna, that that's a new one, yeah, yeah so, but this screw needs to get screwed in, right, absolutely. I don't care about the pain that's going on. I do, and I don't because that screw needs to get screwed in and nobody wants to do it because everybody's holding onto some mess. But when I bring it up again now, somehow I become the enemy, because I got to the line very simply and I'm saying you're being petty, so how do we stop being petty and and have a process so that that screw gets screwed in and people a lot of times? Well, there's a lot of times where people don't want to see that and it's like well, wait a minute, do you want to be right? Do you want to hold onto your mess or do you actually want to grow and develop in this area and take this department to the next level? What did you bring me here to do?
Speaker 2:Right, right, absolutely.
Speaker 1:What did you bring me here to do so anyway, I'm sure you've had, you've had experience with this.
Speaker 2:No, no, no question, no question, especially in my journey as a as the new director.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:Right. I remember my last experience with my call center in Lafayette, louisiana. I was told a number of things about the team that weren't necessarily constructive or productive. Thought it was all about the limitations, what they don't do. You know how they can be. You know how we are. We are as in black folks, right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Whatever that means right. And so I listened to this feedback about the team, and the results would indicate that there was some opportunity that was that wasn't being utilized, and but not being connected to the emotional baggage or the. The history of a thing or an entity or a group of people allows you to see it with fresh eyes and all you see is opportunities for improvement. That is the benefit of not thinking yourself is so important. I know it's going down a little bit of a different tangent, but if you can detached involvement, if you can be involved without necessarily believing that you are, you are the fixed entity of whatever it is that needs to be built on. It lives or dies without you. Well, yeah, it will. That version of that version will die with the version that you are at the moment, if we remove you and replace you or not. And it is in being able to add new pieces and encounter new experiences that opened you up to know that, with or without you, this will continue.
Speaker 1:It's going to go on.
Speaker 2:And so and so I was able to see what I was able to see in the moment, that wasn't informed by well, you know this, and that I had what I had, but I didn't have the lived experience and in that moment it helped me grow the team and they end up finishing. They end up being my number one call center, like they crushed Right Because I didn't, I didn't, I didn't remind them of what they weren't. All I could see is where they were and then what they could be, and that took a new leader to be involved in that process. That's why change is good. Sometimes and I don't know why, I'm even on the street sometimes promoting people within the team can be a disadvantage because they're from the very fabric that has produced what is at the moment.
Speaker 2:And, without judging it, sometimes companies and leadership teams are looking for ways to 10X or catapult the whole trajectory of the team into a different direction and they want less of what has been and an opportunity to grow and develop a team and like oh well, they're new, they don't know this. Well, do you know that? It's irrelevant? It's actually to their benefit that they don't know any of that stuff. Absolutely, it's what they know. In spite of that, we want to pull from and then use as the foundation to grow that team in a different direction until it gets to another point and it's like, all right, we're ready for another change. And that is life. That is how you grow and develop and having an open mind about that can really lessen the catabolic impact that that can have on you, where you're like feeling not good enough, rejected, they didn't want me, it has nothing to do with you sometimes. Sometimes it's just about what the team needs and what's going on, but I don't even know how I got down that path, but it's a perspective.
Speaker 1:I think it's good, though, because when you're talking about like this is saying experience different media. Right, it's experiencing different perspectives, but also being okay with removing yourself, because there's some people that want you to come in to just reinforce what they already said to their upper up. See, now we brought in the professional. He said the same thing. I've been saying the moment you say something different. Now it's like wait a minute, yeah, maybe there are things I could have been doing. Right, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I've had people on that side that was bringing me in to reinforce what they say. And then I realized there is an opportunity for us to be better as leaders. Now you're looking at me weird like I'm the opp. Wait, wait a minute. And it's like, well, no, just remove yourself. Like, have the open mind that I need a different set of eyes. And then we think, when we figure out what it is, support me 1000%. That's how we show that we actually want growth.
Speaker 1:Moving on to number eight, because we can stay on this soap box, join a new group, and I'm gonna get to a few things, but join a new group. Changing your mind your mind works can be easier, or, excuse me, changing how your mind works can be easier if you have a support system. One way to create the support system is to become involved with an open-minded group or organization. Now what comes up for me is like this is your gym community. This is anytime that you're looking to do something new, you gotta realize that you are already entrenched in an environment that is reinforcing how you're moving. Now, whether that is for you, against you, whether it's toxic or not, there's an environment that you're in right now. There's a rhythm that you're in right now that's producing a result.
Speaker 1:And if that result is not the result that you want, the only way to change the environment is by changing the environment. So you gotta get around new people, because it's already tough enough. When you're trying to do something different for yourself, because we talked about, you're combating your own thoughts, you're combating the structures that you grew up with, you're combating what your parents may have said, what your best friend may have said. You need a diversity of minds to be able to come around you to help you move towards what you want so you can see something different. If you want something different, you gotta be surrounded by something different. You gotta be immersed in something different. So joining a group, whatever that group may be, is important. You cannot remove community from your pursuit.
Speaker 2:Right, that's huge and if we've learned anything from even doing these episodes community, I mean, it's back to that, to the debt being attached to the emotional data of someone. Sometimes the history of these friendships can get in the way of you seeing that person growing and evolving and changing and you constantly want to be again. There's advantages and disadvantages of having lifelong friendships in your life and the impact that they play in your life on a day to day and limit you with that relationship, because they remember when you were, not who you are today, and we say that as well. I remember when you was and it might not be and it might be an event that isn't your highest light.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't be trying to act like this. We know that they don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we know you right, we know and we say that and we're indicating I know some shit about you that you don't want nobody to know.
Speaker 2:So don't get so high and mighty like you, walking around here, like you just arrived, and there's truth to that. But can I grow? But can I grow, can you let me be? I remember having this conversation with a buddy of mine who went hiking and we were. He was bringing up something from middle school and there was some truth to it about me and I told him. I said, bro, you got to let me grow. I'm not 13 or 14 anymore, yeah, but we have known each other this span of multiple decades and he can pull from all kinds of moments that are informed by 13 year old Joshua's experience with him. And so now the blind spot of that potential is that, much like how our parents, do you never outgrow where someone had you because the last time where they have you is safe for them to remember you at.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Seeing you as, oh, the coach. People talk to you about their problems.
Speaker 1:Well, bro, you ain't got it all figured out.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying this is the energy I was getting, but I've gotten that energy before.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, and so joining new groups, embracing new perspectives, allows you for people, allows you and for others to see you where you are, as is based on what their level of consciousness is, and it's not connected with all this other baggage that can be limiting, or that's one more obstacle that you got to fight through to just be seen is your history of who you used to be. Yeah, finding a room to unfold into spaces where people are learning and experiencing for all the things that you have lived to this point and be embraced right there is freeing and allows you to be open, to be more of you. That journey should be continuous, right, and allow you to really amplify who you're trying to grow yourself to be. Let's move on to point nine reframe negative thoughts. I have a similar title in my mind Seizing the Opportunity Workshop that I have, and it's a part of my workshop that we go into Mindset Mastery. One of the cornerstones in the Mindset Mastery Workshop is reframing a story, and we talk about this all the time.
Speaker 2:There have been past events that have come that have had a detrimental or negative impact on you, that you necessarily didn't like, an event in life that may have caused trauma.
Speaker 2:Going back and revisiting those stories that have caused you pain and reinterpreting as this was an event that I got so much data from that informed the next steps that I've taken.
Speaker 2:Life, we all have a life event that we point to and be like damn, that's not necessarily something I wanted to experience Absolutely, but oftentimes our data, our information, will come from the most troubling, uncomfortable events that have happened in our life and, with an open mind, you can use that information from that event and take control or approach a new situation, ready for the nuances that may emerge.
Speaker 2:That's not okay. If it's not, if I can't guarantee a great outcome, I'm not doing it. You're gonna find yourself stuck Because you grow through being under that barbell chest, pressing whatever the workout is and causing micro trauma to your muscle fibers, and then resting and recovering, getting perspective like, okay, I lifted that weight, now it's time to add some more because I'm ready to do that work, and so considering the obstacles or parties or journey can help you reframe some of the negative events in your life that you deem ah, I wish I had, but without it, who are you Right and who can you be? Who can you be with more experiences that grow and develop you that are challenging, that may not necessarily feel comfortable or, in the moment, feel like this is benefiting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and everybody's not gonna catch up with your grace for yourself, absolutely Like this I think eight and nine.
Speaker 2:I think I know where you're going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, eight and nine really connect because when you get to a space where you can reframe the experience and say, okay, this is what I learned, this is how I'm gonna move now. I'm different because of this, I'm better because of this If somebody wants to weaponize that experience and tell you that you ain't shit because of it, then you gotta figure out a way to navigate that, especially if these people are close to you Like talking about people who wanna keep you in a specific space. Ro, how can you be this or do this? When you did this, well, you were just seeing what I did, right, we're all doing something. And the question becomes your people, your real people, are riding with you and allowing you to go through the process and say, okay, I wanna be different, I wanna do things differently, this is what I learned, and they're gonna support you, not spend all this time judging you or keeping you small or shrinking you to fit into the character and their story that they want you to be.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Like I don't fit that character anymore. It is not me, I don't wanna be that character, and I think we have to be honest that sometimes we surround ourselves with people that are afraid of us growing. You know that in us growing it's a mirror to them that they can do the same or there's a fear that we're gonna grow to a space where we don't need them, want them, wanna be connected to them anymore and, at the end of the day, like you gotta do what you gotta do, it's enough energy to reframe your thoughts right, cause you're already fighting with your mind going back to the original story, absolutely, so you don't need to be reminded of the original story that you fought to get past, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 2:No, that makes no sense.
Speaker 1:You gotta find a way to have boundaries with people who will. And again, these people are in your home, these people are at your work, these people are on your social media, they're in your school, right, if anybody. If you do a positive reframe and they want to undo that back to the original story that you ain't shit, you gotta really make sure you have some healthy boundaries, because you'll go backwards.
Speaker 2:Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2:Because there's a part of us as humans that care about what certain humans think of us Right, and typically those certain humans.
Speaker 2:There's some type of emotional attachment, love, trauma, bond, whatever it may be, that connects you to that individual, and so you care about that individual and what they think of you, so you're more willing to tell a non-truth about what it is you're going through or how they impacted you or what you want to let them even know about you, and honoring that as knowing that that's real and that's where you can be your most susceptible to pain is from the very people you love because they want to hold you in a box that suits them is a deep understanding about what it means to be human, which then should inform.
Speaker 2:I know that that will be like. I have an awareness now how I am with the people I love and the space they take up in my life. In spite of that urge to be accepted and received for something I no longer am, allow them to have their perspective and I'm okay with letting them have that perspective, because that has zero to do with how you think and feel about yourself. If you're doing this constant work of opening up who, you are putting yourself in new experiences. If you're doing this, you don't have even time to even ideate over.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute.
Speaker 2:You still think that of me? Wait a minute, how can I put it to you differently? No, I'm hanging out with so many people that just receive me for who I am, because I've decided to take a risk with my relationship habits. Then now I'm being embraced in new communities and I'm being exposed to new information about me, that big boulder that was clouding my vision, that was hung up on somebody else's and their thoughts about who I am and who I'm not and who I no longer desire to be.
Speaker 2:You gotta put yourself in new spaces, and that's risky because these very relationships that are holding you back comfortable, right, and that comfort lulls us to sleep. It's seductive, right. We know this intimately well. And so there's an urge, there's a level of resistance that has to come, to build that resilience to reject and go to where you receive, like there's some rejection you gotta do for your environment. It's not always about I wanna be my authentic self, reject me or receive me. No, there's some decisions you get to also make about what you are going to reject that no longer serve you and sometimes, oftentimes, that is embedded in deep historical relationships with people you love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the question is do we wanna do a work Like? I've been sitting next to you at this job for the last 10 years and we talked about everything and that was? It's probably time for me to go? Yeah, but to go, I gotta lose something, you gotta leave. There's no moving forward without leaving something behind. Absolutely. You know what I'm saying, and it's into leaving something behind that gets you closer to that freedom. The last point of the article says admitting. It says acknowledge. You are learning. Admitting when you are wrong can be challenging, but the ability to acknowledge your mistakes can help you become more open-minded. I wanna stop there for a second.
Speaker 1:I had a guy at my job. I was handing out paychecks and his paycheck was wrong. At least he thought it was wrong Before he did any type of research. And this is why you gotta watch your money. This is why you gotta this. This is the idea.
Speaker 1:I'm like, hey, we're looking at paychecks and commissions to make sure that it's right, and I love this dude, but he can be this way. No, no, no, no. This is why you gotta watch your money. So I spend 30 minutes going back and forth to the office only to realize that they were right. In the whole time he's like oh, I'm trying to be quiet about it, I might not.
Speaker 1:I want you to take that same energy. He takes that same energy, that same energy that you had when everybody was trying to steal from you I know you've been talking mess when I've left to help and it doesn't take up half an hour of my time that same energy. I want you to campaign around and tell everybody that you were wrong, because when you felt like you were right, oh, we were shouting it from the rooftops. Now it's just uh-uh-uh and we gonna shove it into a backpack.
Speaker 1:No, you did a little damage. Now undo the damage, and nobody ever wants to do that right. Like when you're wrong, you don't have the same energy that you had when you believed that you were right. So, anyway, that's just something Somebody's gonna connect with. That it also says that realizing that your ideas could be incorrect can help you figure out how to learn from the experience and do better in the future. So what's interesting about that is, before you can even move towards a space of learning, you gotta be able to admit that, hey, I might have had it wrong Absolutely, and a lot of people just don't want to go there.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. There's a reason why the human skin is porous right it can receive moisture.
Speaker 2:It's an organ right, it breathes. Yep, right. If our skin was fixed, meaning like it was, there was no opportunity for anything to come in or anything to go out, we would die Yep, we couldn't receive the information at the environment. As for us to grow, couldn't sweat, we couldn't sweat, everything would just be trapped. You'd be stuck literally in a fixed vessel, right, and so what that is saying is that we have been designed to grow.
Speaker 2:So when you encounter spaces where I won't do it unless I can be 100% right or right, there's enough right that I'm gonna, that I have a risk to take. So I'm gonna take the risk because I see more opportunity for me to be right than wrong. That's gonna leave you in a very, very small space that you take minimal risk and you grow less as a result. Your opportunity to grow and learn is your design. Embrace what you've been designed to do.
Speaker 2:So when we have experiences and people come in our lives and they challenge us and they get us to thinking differently and you grew up thinking this and you encounter something that makes you think like that, allow yourself to be fluid and flow with what it is that you're experiencing, because it's to your benefit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, don't get so hung up on a result or a financial outcome from doing it one fixed way all the time, because it's more about your growth and development than how big your bank account is, because one day, that bank account that you're growing an add into and a hundred we talk about this in a hundred, 125 years that money is gonna be gone and spent by your lineage or splurged, or it's gonna be gone because it's not yours to have. We're renting our time on this planet. The least we can do is grow as a human and encounter an experience, all that this experience has for us on our journey as designed to grow, develop, acknowledge when you're wrong, because it actually doesn't even matter, because you're gonna be wrong again, and then you're gonna be wrong again, so get used to being wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And get more locked in and confident about being open to being just who you are and what your experience is, because your consciousness is only based on what you've experienced, based on what you know at the moment, and give yourself some grace for that. Oh man, I'm 45 and I shouldn't have it. No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't have any of that. You've never been 45 before.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You've never been this age in your human experience and understand that, oh man, everything that's led me to be 45 is gonna inform how I get to 46. So why would I get to 46 and be like, damn, I wish I'd lose that 45? Well, you couldn't know it. It wasn't designed for you to, and that's okay. Right, that's okay. So this process of educating, allowing yourself to be flexible, really aids in a bit a journey around being open-minded and being really available for what life has for you, and not have it be so right and wrong, black or white, because there's so many nuances in between. Designed for us to live Like. This has been our design the whole time. So, anyway, I can go on a tangent about that, but it's this whole article, both of these episodes hit home because we desperately need to embrace an open mindset if we wanna continue to grow and thrive.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man, absolutely. This has been a great episode. We wanna thank everybody for listening. This is episode 41 of the Take it All podcast, and you could continue to do what you've already been doing Listen to us, share, download, share to your social media platforms, follow us. We really wanna hear about what you wanna hear about, and we're just gonna keep plugging away. So, man, happy birthday again, brother, I really appreciate you. I love doing this journey with you and I'm sure I'll be seeing you shortly.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Oh man, there you go. You gonna be happy birthday. Now what's the new one on social media? No, Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1:All I know is we got 41 episodes. Joshua, he's gonna be in 41 lawsuits. Oh for this, I'm gonna be in bridge with him. I am not a part of Still With you song.
Speaker 2:No such thing as bad publicity, man. If Beyonce hears that we've been singing some of her songs, or Usher pops up, hey man, that's gonna revolutionize our trajectory on the audience that we're gonna be able to get in front of as a result of being a knowledge and take it off podcast. See Love Grow. So I appreciate you, bro, being a vessel and being an evangelist. Take it off podcast continue to share.
Speaker 1:You're the best. You're the best. You're the best at sharing and taking off podcasts. Thank you, man. I love you.
