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The Art, The Artist, and The Audience: Navigating the Complexities of Controversial Creators

Joshua Fields & Jeremy Rubin Episode 48

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Ever grappled with the moral maze of jamming to a hit track by an artist mired in controversy? That's precisely what we tear into, as Joshua and Jeremy Rubin, wrestle with the ethics of consuming arts like R. Kelly, Diddy, Chris Brown, and Kanye West. Prepare for a rollercoaster of deep dives into accountability, the impact on victims, and the societal messages we amplify with our playlists. It's a thought feast for music enthusiasts and culture critics alike as we weigh the heavy questions of separating the art from the artist and the role of public opinion in shaping an artist's legacy.

Has an artist's personal life ever soured a song you loved? We hash out that very conundrum, dissecting the complex cocktail of emotions that arises when our favorite creators fall from grace. From the visceral reactions that span empathy to outrage to the tug-of-war between a fan's adoration and the need for accountability, we leave no stone unturned. Join us as we navigate the minefield of personal connections versus public transgressions and ponder how these dynamics shift our perception of the musicians we thought we knew.

Lastly, we anchor this episode in the transformative journey of self-discovery and growth. Acknowledging the quirks of balancing personal exposure with social media boundaries, we toss a dash of humor, inviting you to laugh with us. But don't let the chuckles fool you; we're serious about investing in dreams, setting boundaries, and the paramount importance of self-care. We challenge you, our Take it Off family, to engage and possibly stumble upon an enlightening moment as we explore the art of setting boundaries, not just in the social media sphere but in life as a whole.

Article Referenced: https://www.theasburycollegian.com/2023/03/separating-the-art-from-the-artist/

Find us on our online platforms:
Co-Host: Joshua Fields ACC, CPC, & Master ELI Practitioner
Website: https://joshuafields.coach/    
Instagram: @joshuaafields
Email List: https://archive.aweber.com/newsletter/awlist6189433  

Co-Host: Jeremy Rubin, Keynote Speaker, Author, Consultant, Sales Leader
Website: http://faceconsultinggroup.com/ 
Instagram: @ajeremyrubinstory

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Take it All podcast, where we see love grow. I am your co-host, jeremy Rubin, and I am here with my guy, the man, the myth, the legend, the coach with the most, joshua. A how you doing, josh, yeah, don't forget. You know, up and coming R&B singer. I've been working on this cover by Muni Long made for me.

Speaker 2:

The smell of your perfume.

Speaker 1:

I'm not doing it.

Speaker 2:

I thought I was immune.

Speaker 1:

Looking around this room and she goes to the twin. Where have you been? Come on, you're not eating on this, though. Come on with me. Come on with me, I'm not doing it.

Speaker 2:

Nobody knows me like you do Every time I try it. One look in my eyes. You know I'm lying, lying.

Speaker 1:

That's R bro. She's guilty, she does it. You're very correct when you do it, not so much. But that being said, it's all subjective, it's art, right, it's art, it's art.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying. I'm trying to give you the love.

Speaker 1:

Give me the love, exactly, actually. What are we talking about today, joshua?

Speaker 2:

yeah, man, thank you, that was a smooth right there transition who gets to sing and who doesn't?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Well, welcome to take it off. C love girl, episode 48. Entitled the art, the artist and the audience navigating the complexities of controversial creators. In layman's terms, we're having a discussion today about the relationship between An artist like a musical artist, A diddy, a Kanye West, chris Brown, michael Jackson, folks that have these sorted has, these controversial happenings in their personal life and Our ability to separate those acts from the art. Right, what? What is the crucial conversation? The nuances in challenging how we Embrace, consume, appreciate Art that has a complicated artist attached to it, publicly, something egregious as sexual abuse and a number of other things that have unfolded from Some allegations of some pretty popular folks in a, in a social media or just in, just in the media in general. I'll pause there. Is there anything that comes up for you with that, as I?

Speaker 1:

well, you said how I mean you said how or should you know what's the line? What's the line? Yeah, because I mean you've experienced this. You know our audience knows that you have a robust DJ business Alongside. You know your coaching practice and you've been told by people hey, don't play that. Yeah, don't play these artists I'm. I do not play this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there's a do not play list, and Rightfully so, in my opinion. There are folks that are like, hey, I just, you know, I, yeah, there was a time when the tone, where this song Was connected to a lot of great memories, was connected to, I mean, this was a banger, this was a slapper. This reminds me of you, know. But now, as more information comes along, I am conflicted because I know that I wouldn't even be having this discussion if this wasn't an artist, right, like, if this person was just doing these egregious acts, I wouldn't be Wrestling with being connected to their work or not. It's just like I'm not messing with you, because this is how you roll, where it's very interesting when we bring in art, when we bring in things that are people that are connected to things that are more established.

Speaker 1:

I was talking about my middle school that I went to, you know. It was Jason Lee middle school, now till top heritage middle school, you know. And we're looking at the past and figures and what they've done, and then the question becomes do we want to continue to Honor their memory? Right, and then we're going to start with what's going on today, and so not even just how we Navigate, whether you know how we celebrate the music or not, but is it even celebrated? And if you choose to celebrate it or not, you know? Are you being judged? Are there sides to take? How important is this conversation? But it comes up for sure, absolutely Well, I and to your point how important the conversation is.

Speaker 1:

I believe it's. It's it's of utmost importance because we're using the lens of music and art specifically to have the discussion, but we are not separate from these people. Now, again, I'm not talking about being egregious and having a consistent behavior, especially when you start talking about abuse of young. You know we haven't brought up our Kelly's name, but the guy has done a number of things habitually that has caused damage on young black women that are under that were underage. Majority of them were underage, and this is one of the first artists that I was confronted with in my lifetime where I had to make a decision about damn, what is it?

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, quiet. There was a video came out, Was that him. I downloaded it off an after Fam. And I was crazy as you get and we gaslighting ourselves saying it can't be, it can't be Like it can't be him Yep, yep, right, like we had the end. The information was right in front of our face the pipe hyper of R&B. If you know what the pipe hyper? Did, now you got a different lens on it because the pipe hyper is about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's not just people following the pipe hyper, it young children, children, children, children, under the influence of the pipe hyper's musical talent, would follow the pipe hyper. Then you talk about, you know, the song AJ, nothing but a number Right People need to understand also that this is a human thing. This is not a black community thing, like when you talk about abuse of power. When you talk about young women connected to the music industry I mean there were whole songs, you know when you talk about the Beatles area era, when you talk about the Rolling Stones era, about being with young groupies, girls that were underage, I mean when you look at even Priscilla Presley and how old she was when she was connected to Elvis, like there are things that have been right in front of our face and it's not just a black thing but it is a thing for sure that we're talking about. And the question becomes when you get these very gifted people that have made contributions, that have changed our lives, pushed the culture forward, influenced the genre of different music, like a lot of people don't get, you know just how impactful we are, not just in our realm but in music in general, and how it's connected, you know to I mean even the story behind Teen Spirit and Nirvana and the drummer and where he actually got the beat from. He got that actual beat from the Gap Band and he talks about it in a video. So, when you think about how we have, you know, we just brought up Elvis and his Baptist roots, right. Like you think about how pervasive our reach is, you know how pervasive our reach is when it comes to the arts, when it comes to music. Specifically, you're talking about the reach of African-American the reach. Right, yeah, it's huge, but it's not just connected to us when it comes to these things, even though we end up on the forefront in a lot of cases. So I just want to make sure it's clear that this is a human thing. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I think our discussion provokes that thought around. How do we? How do we deal or engage with the complex human story and then reassess our values, our morality, our ethics as it relates to supporting or not supporting, because it's not consistent. We'll excuse this over here with this particular artist and not saying anything about the Gucci belt that we're wearing or the litany of racism that comes out of the high fashion industry that we steal for some reason still consume and I'm not above it, but it's just interesting, right? It's an interesting conversation.

Speaker 1:

There's an article by this young lady named Caitlin McCracken that came out last year, and the title of the article that we can use to help support this dialogue is separating the art from the artist, and the phrase separate the art from the artist is commonly used in creative fields like academia, raising implications, ethical implications, as it relates to a number of things that we use in our society to be inspired from. Art is up to interpretation. Right, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and so the article provides examples of influential authors who still were deeply problematic in their day and, despite their flaws, despite their works, still add significant value to the overall lexicon of what it means to be human. And what do we do with that? Is that okay? And I'm curious, even from your vantage point and your lens, you're quite the deep thinker. How do you personally? I know we got the jargon, we got the insights, we got ways to reframe things, we talk a lot about self-improvement and empowerment.

Speaker 1:

And don't judge and assume and interpret, don't apply limiting beliefs, because you're going to create a binary situation where things are black and white, right and wrong and where's our line on when that no longer applies? Or is that even a way to look at things? Yeah, I think the line is constantly moving. It's constantly moving and it moves based on how you are connected. I think it moves based on how close you're connected to the parties in question. Okay, right, I'm on now, right? So first of all, if R Kelly were to have touched my daughter, he's not making it to the courtroom Like I'm not. Even you're not, I don't, I'm not. Oh, don't let the podcast fool you, do not. Oh, hopi, my baby, you're not. I'm climbing over. It's going to be five or six tasers on me and I'm still moving Right Like I get it, but then it's like and what part do you get Like?

Speaker 1:

I get it why people would be angry, viscerally angry at. Could you imagine being connected, being one of the victims, or connected to one of the victims, and you walk in, you're a guest at a wedding and then someone's playing step in the name of love. That song is not hitting for you, like it doesn't, it's not again, it's. I'm connected to this in a different way because the song, the talent, is what gave the individual the resources and the reach to be able to do this and in the way they've done it for so long, being protected right to a degree, and so the art is fuel for what's happening. I get that. Then, on the other side of it, all of these people have family members right that can say, yeah, you know, this was his story as a child. This is what he dealt with, this is why he chose to move in this place Because he himself was abused.

Speaker 1:

He himself was sexually abused as a child yeah, and you're seeing this and you're like, how could he come out, quote, unquote, right, when, his when, when, what he dealt with was this and it skewed the gauge of how you interact with people and what that is supposed to look like right? So, because I'm close to it, because maybe it's my family now, I've got empathy in a space where everybody else is ready to, you know, burn someone at a stake. So I think it's really connected to how close you are to the parties that are involved. Like, what do you believe? You know, I've seen people who know for a fact.

Speaker 1:

I know for a fact. They know like, yeah, this is my guy, he did something wrong, but guess what? I'm gonna help him get out. Like I'm gonna figure out a way to cover for him. I'm going to figure. Now, I wouldn't do it for that person over there because we don't have a relationship, but this one right here, no matter what, I'm covered, like we make these agreements right, and then somebody's looking at like how could you cover for that person? You don't know what he's been to me and you don't know the whole story right, so there's a lack of information. But I think, as you get outside of being directly connected to the victim or directly connected to the perpetrator, then now what's the line? And so let me just read this blurb and then this let's go there about what the line is.

Speaker 1:

So the article warns against two extremes completely discarding the artist's work due to their faults, or ignoring the problematic aspects of their lives altogether. Instead, the article calls for a balanced approach, acknowledging both the artistic influence and the artist's harmful ideologies or behaviors or actions. Blah, blah, blah. The point here is is that sometimes you're still intimately connected to that particular artist, without even knowing them directly, because of their art. You are connected to that person through the art, and so, in separating the art from the artist, many of us don't even know these people Diddy, kanye, chris, like a number of them but we know of them through their music Another story. We know their story through what has been projected and presented to us through media, and so it's our way of getting to know them. And social media adds another layer, right when there's more an organic, intimate insight into people's lives.

Speaker 1:

And it's funny, cause I was at your event last week beautiful event, by the way, the seventh secret, if you will my guy's doing great work in these pop-up events, something that he's talked about and dreamed about and is now executing on. While I'm at your event, this young lady walks up to me and says hey, you don't know me, but I feel like I know you because I follow you on social media and it's weird because I'm like, hey, no, we don't actually have a relationship. We have a digital one, but it's one-sided because we don't really know each other. But yet I'm a fan of you, or I like what you post or I like what you do, so now I feel some type of connection, right. So that's just on social media and and I have an expectation of you and I haven't correct Because I, but this is it, because I like you, now I expect to keep liking you because of what you have given me to like. Take some accountability for how you make me feel. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1:

And so that's just on social media. Now you add in the power of music and how. I mean it's not just I'm a DJ, bro, like, it's not just music. I've watched rooms in various culture and demographics and adrobes come together and forget about where they are and when Monday's coming, because they're so wrapped up in the moment because of the power in the vehicle of music, and so you get attached, bro. We watched Michael Jackson sell out concerts and people pass out, bro, it's a hard issue. It's a hard issue, tell me more. Well, I mean so I as a choir boy, as a retired choir boy, right In school, in church and all that good stuff. But then, even as I've moved towards the power of like storytelling, there is no, you can't have a horror movie without music. Like horror movies. Actually, music is what make you would laugh at a horror movie if there was no music involved. Great, great example, my brother.

Speaker 2:

It's what creates the tension.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then when silence comes, because now there is no music, that silence is more powerful. So music is actually it can be a form of architecture, right, it actually helps inform and tell the story. You take out some of your greatest monologues without any music and it's just different. I mean, I think of even like Independence Day, when they're getting ready to fight the aliens, the president's gotta stand up. I was looking for my spaceship. Bro, I was.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to be right there with Wilson. It's our.

Speaker 1:

Independence Day, you take that speech and you take away the music. Go to Braveheart right when you are laying sick in your bed. Would you trade every day, from this day to the last, to get in that British ass?

Speaker 2:

You got me.

Speaker 1:

Bro, I'm ready to go to war, right now, but the bagpipes were going, there's war drums involved and it's that music, that biblical, one of the reasons why Satan was so powerful. He was the only angel that could travel in an outside of the heart of God and he was over worship right. So, depending on what you're connected to, song right is a way that we tell our story and when you're connected to a song that is telling your story seasons, the whole seasons of your life. All right, think about the height of your youth, where youth and independence kind of intersect. You're out with your boys. You're looking for Amber before Amber. What songs are playing? Those songs hit and it's just like you smile. It takes you to a place, the soundtrack, the soundtrack for your life, the soundtrack of your life.

Speaker 1:

So what you're telling me now is that because this idiot did X, now I gotta delete part of my life, like part of my life is gone, part of my life. It's that powerful. It's a hard issue. I am now connected to this person. They bring me a lot of joy. They've been there for seasons in my life. They speak a language that I understand and connected to, not them.

Speaker 1:

We even saw as proof of we're talking about R Kelly, as proof of R Kelly came out, there were still women literally praising him at the steps of the dang jail. We support you, we love you. What does it say? Now I'm not sitting here saying because, trust me, I've made my mistakes, I've hurt people, I have been the villain in someone's story. I am not perfect. I'm not trying to sit here acting like I can stand on some soapbox, but what I am saying is there's a difference between someone making a mistake or someone lying to another person. I get that, but when you get to some of these layers of abuse, you're talking about whoa. You got whole systems to protect what you're doing Bodyguards, properties, people chained up, relationships, relationships.

Speaker 1:

Relationships, they're all relationships, able to pay off police, when you talk about some of these people's reach because of their popularity, because of their money, because of their influence. So, as I participate and continue to consume, what am I doing? Right, because it's what's so funny, people get mad at you. And you ain't even the one that did it, you just bump in the music. So, again, where's the line? Where's the line? And it's nuanced and it is. It is complicated. To me, it's like the perfect representation of looking at the human mirror. Ok, it is, because it is the. I mean, again, we can go borrow our stories from the Bible.

Speaker 1:

David, a man after God's own heart. Yep, set Uriah up front line. I'm trying to see what's good with his wife, though, right, and oh, he's in the way. Well, let me see how I can just set him up to make it look like something that is not. But I'm going to benefit from it because there's something that he has that I don't and I want it. So I'm going to go figure out how to get it. And this is a guy who was training in the pasture for years, guarding sheep Right With a slingshot.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then is he no longer considered to be. But that's not the story. We will use those, we'll use that example to then reconcile what it means to be after God's own heart. But then how do you? Does that? That doesn't, that doesn't match. How are you after God's own heart, yet you are accessory to murder.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, yeah humans right.

Speaker 1:

Being human and I think when I say the perfect mirror to look into music and art is the way it is from, I believe, then this is me getting a bit spiritual with a few kisses of religion is. I believe, though, those powerful gifts are directly from our creator. They've been put inside of us, and we go and we have an ability to connect with other humans through our art, regardless of what it is. You have a phrase that I love. It's even in your email take no gift to the grave, because what has been placed in you has to come out to serve the rest of the world, but that does not disconnect you, and I think this this helps the dialogue.

Speaker 1:

If what I have given to the world was my mission to do, and then I find myself in a number of situations, and some of these situations, many of my life gives me the fuel, the power, the gift that it is that I've been given, regardless of how I use it, that I've been given to improve, enhance, enjoy, add perspective, no matter where I'm at in my life, and depending on how many people consume that well, that's a direct correlation to how powerful I believe I am and what I have access to do or not do or behave or not behave.

Speaker 1:

But no matter how I move, I'm going to end up causing impact on a large number of people because of how much my gift is being consumed consistently. And so, all that to say, does my art, should my art, still be on trial? If it still save your life, if it still gave you a window or a way to continue to deal with your life? What does my actions have to do with your experience, with what it is that I've given you, that you've consumed and enjoyed? Yeah, so you took one saying take no gift to the grave, but I also have another saying the only difference between a superhero and super villain is how they use their power. See, I think that our gift, our power, that comes with the package. That comes with the package. But that does not, just because you have a super gift doesn't make you like you're now immune to manipulation, or oh yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that at all.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, I know you're not, but my point is is that I think, at least what I experience, is, if you have the gift, then I'll excuse the curse Right, like if you have. But see, that's the thing. Is it a? Or Can I love your music and still hold you accountable, whatever accountability may mean for you, which would come with? I don't sign off on your behavior, but I do like your music. I love it, it's a part of my life.

Speaker 1:

I can disconnect myself from it if I wanted to Right, but then in supporting the music, you're supporting the person.

Speaker 2:

It's designed that way.

Speaker 1:

Yep, yep. Ok, I'm going to keep streaming, right, I'm going to keep passing it down to the next generate. Like it's designed for the art to be connected to the artist. Now, there was a time where it wasn't necessarily that people still in songs. There's people still in beats as people like you were being poached all the time, right? But it's set up so that the moment I put something out there, my name is on it. I get royalties for it.

Speaker 1:

Should that not happen, all I'm saying is that the same thing that you're asking if I appreciate the music, if I support the music, I'm supporting the person. There is no penalty, right? If I am, let's say, for a profession, a brick layer and I do some egregious stuff, well, I'm not going to be able to lay bricks. It's interesting to me. It's interesting to me how you're going to be in trouble. Like it just feels like there's a shield around certain people because they have a gift, and we know it's true.

Speaker 1:

Our legal system is set up that if you got money and influence when it comes to consequences, I think that there's levels to that. Because my vantage point of if I can't lay brick anymore because of some egregious act that I did on the job or I got caught out of my personal life. So my ability to lay brick has been impacted. I can't do it or I can only do it. I maybe I maybe I got to do it behind closed doors. I don't have the freedom just to do it the way I used to do it, because now there's a component that impacts that ability to do that.

Speaker 1:

I believe that that happens at the, at the, at the higher levels. It just looks different because they're dealing with different resources. We don't even know everything that's going to come out about Diddy Right, but as the light is reaching and becoming more and more illuminating of what he has done, there's an impact there Because, absent of that, it doesn't like the universe will take care of the universe, like that's a law, like he's not going to get the same opportunities or get the. Hey, we were just getting ready to do another American Idol. What we were going to do is where meets the band meets American Idol, and we would love for you to be the executive producer of this, sean Puffy, cones that that cause probably not going to happen. Such a first world problem, oh for sure. Such a you know what I mean Like you, don't get to be the executive producer.

Speaker 1:

No but what I'm saying is there's, but see he's already made his money, just like I already made my money laying brick. But my point is is that the impact of what you've done depending on the level and egregiousness of what we've collectively decided is egregious as a society, and that doesn't mean everybody has to be bought in on what they believe is egregious. But we got enough people that believe this said action is horrible and you deserve to be held accountable. Well, you might stop getting support in that way. So that might look like we had you in mind for this, did he?

Speaker 1:

Same thing happened to John and the majors. We just floated the idea that he's in some shit, marvel boom. He was supposed to be Dennis Robin in the movie that was coming out, and all that taken away, taken away, taken away. So he, you will be impacted. There will be consequences, but depending on where you are on the social economic ladder Well, yeah, you, you're still a millionaire Like Kanye lost. He was no longer a billionaire for a brief moment and then he became a 400 millionaire. Ok, well, that I would love to just get up two of those millions of your 400 million. Kanye was, but for him. That's the consequence you cut your net worth in half or whatever it is, if you understand what I'm saying, like there's still consequences and earning potential that's impacted, no matter where you are on that ladder Social economics OK, so then let me ask you this question, josh how?

Speaker 2:

do you hold?

Speaker 1:

an artist accountable, but this is the accountability, right, this is this. Comes with the accountability Like. You're not that guy like that anymore, for whatever reason. Because of ours, the way our society is set up in social engineering. Huff Daddy, your legacy now has been tainted. You're not because of what has come out, and there's the litany here and we're watching how you do it. There's the litany here and we're watching how you. I'm a pay cash. Yeah, I'm a comment office.

Speaker 1:

What I, what I'm saying, is you, how do you, as the individual right, because how does the audience hold our right Right right because, because I can tell you how you support him Keep streaming the music. So now I'm asking how does an individual hold an artist accountable? Because to me it's the opposite of that it's. I'm not going to support your art because that art is connected to you, while you're wilding out Outside of that, I don't know what you can do to participate, like it's as far as holding something accountable?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't think the accountability is in how, and that's a. That's a decision. Okay, so check this out. This is how it's done. Is it back to my example? We and again, these are just very various reasons We'll probably not see Diddy R Kelly in the public eye on a on a new opportunity or a television show where we get to see our artists again in the way we see them.

Speaker 1:

For six months, for six months. Well, I don't. I see the thing is R Kelly. R Kelly's not coming back, not in that way, like, think about that that this last 10, 10 years now, all R Kelly has to do is but he dropped the album in prison. No, no, I, which, again, but this happens all the time.

Speaker 1:

If he did not go to prison, the album, probably we've got the muscle, the money, the, the touring like he would. He would, nothing would have fell off, just not. Father time would have just took over Like yep, yep, hey, you had a great run, you had a great run. But the consequences of his actions and how egregious it is for our society is holding him accountable not to be able to drop that same album, or an album absent of his allegations, to get the commercial success that he would get if he wasn't in trouble. Okay, does that make sense? Kind of. But what I'm saying is is that I'm not talking about economics, like I'm not talking about the macro level, like it's all going to work out in the wash. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the micro level, the individual, because what we're talking about is we're talking about individuals, right, and that's what we're talking about. So this is this. To me, this is the problem or the the. The issue is we knew, we just talked. We opened up with it.

Speaker 1:

I downloaded the video to see what everybody was talking about and I saw a man that looked like R Kelly See even that. That looked like him. He and on a young girl, the boom docs of the whole episode on this. It's wild and it did not matter Because, oh, I guess it ain't that big a deal because he's not in trouble, it ain't. It's not on CNN, it didn't. It's not on. He's not locked up, he didn't get charged. So we'll do that. And for some people it was enough to just see yep, that just looked just like him. I'm done Not supporting him anymore. Well, how do you know it was him, bro? I remember having the like, having these conversations with people, but this is what we do. So holding him accountable clearly has a a wide range of what people decide to do. I finally threw his musical way after I saw the episode air on one of the.

Speaker 2:

I forget the lifetime or whatever it was.

Speaker 1:

And then I was like, oh, this is crazy. I'm listening to the victims Like it's in my face now.

Speaker 1:

But it was actually in my face years ago, years ago, and oh okay, well, I guess, I guess it's not that bad. We again Chris Brown, if we didn't know he beat up Rihanna in the way he did the victim shot of Rihanna. Like we're walking around thinking like, oh yeah, ain't nothing wrong, chris Brown's still great, like, yeah, have him do Michael Jackson impressions and have him on BET and all those things, because it's in our face where the evidence becomes irrefutable. That is your force to make a binary decision and, I think, switching gears a little bit. George Floyd is a perfect example of that. Yeah, you couldn't get away from it. It's on every screen. By the way. The world is shut down, so everybody's on their phone and we watched a man be murdered in front of the world Crying out for help, black man. So now great. And when I say great, now we got everybody's attention about the shit we've been dealing with in our community for years. So then you have several groups BLM and they get a bad rap. Now for money and story.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying. There's a whole story connected to that, but for our narrative, that particular instance and how it was in your face and you could not deny what you saw, even though there was still attempts to do that there was enough irrefutable evidence for us to make a decision on how we're going to move differently. And now I'm asked to DEI this and do that and make sure our website looks like we're inclusive company, like we're blacking out our Tuesdays, like it caused an impact because there was a collective awareness that you could not deny. And I think that that happens with our music. It might not be as on the same level, but it happens with that.

Speaker 1:

That's why our Kelly is being held accountable now is because there was like a and I think our legal system promotes that criminal allegations, breonna, reasonable doubt, other stuff, civil disobedience, ponderance of the evidence like this Okay, I could see how that went that way, right, but the consequences are different. But dealing with criminal activity, we it's in our it's in our legal system. It's beyond a reasonable doubt. And again, it's to help protect people from being locked up for crimes they haven't done. Clearly that hasn't been perfect, but still, that is still the basis of how we hold people accountable legally in our country, and it comes out in these, I think, just using our Kelly as an example- yeah, I just think entertainment is different, because entertainment would be just like entertainment business.

Speaker 1:

When your livelihood is connected to the people and public opinion has a lot to do with your brand, how successful you're going to be Right, and we've leveraged that. All of us, anybody who was connected, anybody who has a business, you want to tell the quote unquote right story. You know what I mean. Like that's your, that's going to be accepted by the majority of the population, to make it easier for you to be able to navigate and move and promote whatever product or service that you have For sure, for sure. But what I? What I've found, at least, and we've touched on it a lot it's like if there's people are getting enough out of it, they will ignore. It's just human nature If I'm getting away, so wait, we wait. We really not messing with H&M right now.

Speaker 1:

And they got a big sale next week and I'm getting paid and and the jeans fit right in the and they always got good coats. All right, I'm going to support y'all for this week, but when I sell, come around, I hope this all blows over, right, because if there's enough in it for us, we will excuse behavior that's a bar, absolutely, I mean if there's enough of the time.

Speaker 1:

We do it all the time. We do it all the time we do it. But then we want to sit on that high horse when it's convenient. Yeah, it's like, oh, you wouldn't let her talk to you like that, but you let her talk to you like that Because I like you, I'm getting something out of it.

Speaker 2:

There's a whole thing online.

Speaker 1:

Like if she likes you enough, she'll tell herself the lies that you don't need to tell her to get her to do. Whatever it is that you're getting her to do in that, in a relationship type of flirty Example right Right, right, right Just clearly, the same thing goes for guys.

Speaker 1:

If you like her enough, right, you'll do a number of things to get her attention, to get what you want, right, and there's a range, there's a, there's a willingness that people go to get what they want, or to maintain a lifestyle, or to continue to reap benefits of work that they don't have to do. Or again, how are you designing your toxic environment? Yeah, right, and I think people need to be honest about that. I think that that and that's where I said that line is that line is connected to how connected you are Right, and if there's enough in it for you, man, you'll look the other way.

Speaker 1:

You just saw all those bodyguards, all the security, all the additional artists that saw R Kelly in action. That's what I'm saying. Like that's all him. You can talk. You can talk and did they like, oh, you don't understand. You know my life and I'm scared and I'm this and I'm that. Okay, I get that, but you're still employed by the person you stayed. There was something. You're getting out of it, Right. And, like you know, I saw a lot of people. It's like that we're talking about. Even like you talk about the George Floyd thing. Like, think, look at it, All of the people that were watching like literally watched this. And I said to myself, I said, if that was a golden retriever, there's no way that would happen. Come on, fam, that was the first thing that came to mind. That was a golden retriever. There's no way that would have happened.

Speaker 2:

I don't see it.

Speaker 1:

I don't see it happening. Somebody would have stood up and again, and I just you know. And then we make our excuses. Well, was he on fentanyl? Was he this? Was he dangerous? Let's bring up his past, let's this. Is that the third? When it's convenient, we will excuse some shit.

Speaker 1:

And I think it's just being real about that. Like, before you get on your high horse about anything, understand that you have been a part of watching something that wasn't injustice and you did it because there was enough. There was enough in it for you to stay on the sideline. And we've all been there, big level or small. From that point, I can see it.

Speaker 1:

That being said, and right, I think that when someone is consistently being a minister society, you've got to ask yourself okay, what part am I playing in this? Because, to be quite honest, the other side of that is that if I'm, if I'm, bumping the music, if I'm streaming the music, if I'm playing the music, then I am supporting the behavior Because, at the end of the day, what's the consequence? Yeah, and it gets back to the line. Right, because we made, our people have made millions being a part of a music system that uses crack, cocaine and uses drug culture and imagery and sells it to us in our urban cities and uses that to cultivate our craft, our gifting, our creativity, and that somehow that is okay. Right, it's in our movie culture. It's in our watching Black Mafia family right now on BMF Love the power series from 50 Cent. But 50 Cent is connected to a larger narrative about what gets past our our gates. But some would argue crack cocaine destroyed the black community during the 80s and we didn't bring it in.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Someone brought it to us. And then there's a business created, there's and there's all kinds of shows about this snowfall, snowfall, bmf. Like it's an in start with us, scarface, right, godfather. Like organized crime, like there's so many things that we popularize, that we esteem, that are very criminal. And again, I'm not on a, I watch it. I watch all those shows 5000 times. I love it, right, I'm connected to it. I think it's exhilarating. It's like it's all the things. Yet that's still destructive. Lives are still lost, families destroyed. Some moms can't call their daughter cause she OD'd on something that some drug dealer gave her. While they was listening to the reasonable doubt album by Jay-Z, who brags about, I was in a drug game and got away. I don't know what drugs he dealt. That impacted Marcy projects and those people were no longer here because they didn't have their own self discipline to stop an addiction that they abused. Again, who's responsible? Where's the line Right? And I'm a Jay-Z fan, so should I not listen to his music? Cause, again, the line right it's, it's, it's well.

Speaker 1:

I just think it's not coming. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Let's just say that there, let's just say that there is no place to land the plane. Okay, I think that the one thing let's just say it's a stalemate. I think the one thing to take into account is, like, stop being so hypocritical, bar, you know what I mean. Like if, like, if it's a stalemate, just understand that it's complex, that keep that whole, keep the same energy. You're not keeping that same energy over here, right, and so it's.

Speaker 1:

You know, I know whole friends is like oh, don't you ever cheat, don't be a cheater, don't be a cheater. You know they're hearing about their home girl or their home boy, and it's, it's cool. The whole narrative has changed because they're connected to the people, right? So then, what is it? Because you just said that this thing was so wrong and horrible and this and the other, until it's not convenient to have that stance. Yeah, so I think, I think it's it's being above the fray, is understanding that. You know that this line is constantly moving, that we are a bunch of hypocrites, that the energy is going to change based on you know, it's one thing to hear, oh, you so and so friend died, but then if it's your friend?

Speaker 2:

it's different.

Speaker 1:

It's different. Oh so, and so parents died. If it's your parents, it's different.

Speaker 1:

It's not even the same right. And it's built that way because if we took on everything the world had to offer in the same manner, we would not be able to operate as people. It would be too heavy. So that's part of the design too. But I would just say that, at the end of the day, if we can take anything from this conversation is understanding that we're not excusing anybody, we're not excusing behavior, we're not saying if you're gifted, you'd be above the fray. This is really more about the people that are connected to that. Understand that that line is constantly moving, based on how you fit, based on what's in it for you. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

And I think that the position where I am today and I could be different tomorrow, cause I'm definitely not where I was when I just dealing with the R Kelly example, but there is now. I don't bump R Kelly's, I proactively do not bump R Kelly's music anywhere, like at all, because of what's happened or because of how you'll be looked at. Well, initially it was because of what happened. And is that where it's all like? Well, okay, damn, I kind of miss a certain sound he served this time. I enjoy a certain song, this, right now. That song will be perfect for what I'm doing right now, but because there's a concern about how I'll be looked at or how I'll be looked at, we had an event be like are they working? You know I'm looking for, are we still aligned? That? This isn't cool, right.

Speaker 1:

And again, enough time gets in the way and depending on how deep that connection is to what it is that you're trying to suppress, you'll find yourself right back no judgment right back in the space where, like, oh, this is cool, this is cool. I got a different thought on it now, I got a reframe for it, right. And you know, like, if I'm in a room full of victims cause I had a homegirl tell me this she was like not yet, don't play Chris Brown in front of me. Okay, you got it. Now, for some reason I picked, I'm playing Chris Brown.

Speaker 1:

I don't have the same connection to sexual abuse as I do physical abuse, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Right, versus the drug dealer that's bragging about how they got people addicted to their product, right, it's a range of what I'm willing to tolerate, to listen to, to have a good time to, and we very rarely because that's on autopilot we very rarely are conscious about what we're doing because we can get caught up in the flow and it's on autopilot and we're not conscious. Ignorance is bliss. Oh, he ain't really talking about that. That's just art, that's just this and that's just music. We ain't talked about really movies, sitcoms, right, the past, well, that's just giving ourself a pass, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I mean, let's be real about it. We want to do something. We know it's taboo, so we'll access that level three energy and be like okay, well, and justify. How do I justify, how do I make this make sense to me? So, worst case scenario, I can explain it to another, but really I'm just explaining it to myself so I can feel good or okay about making this decision this taboo. And we do it with everything, everything.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm gonna go back to her, you know, if I'd have just done things a little differently and if they're my friends, they'll understand. I know I done talked crazy about it for a while, but if they'll understand, all right, everybody loves a good comeback story. Did we both give it Again? We will do and say and speak and train ourselves to move in any direction. That's what we do and that's what we're asking people, I think, as we get into a close here, like, keep it a buck, keep it real about what we do, and when it's convenient for you, you're on your high horse, and when it's not convenient for you, you're right there empathizing with said victim, that you have found some way to connect or relate to it on a more intimate, deeper level. Right, and so that has its pains and its pleasures, its consequences, its advantages and disadvantages. So deciding who you want to be and being that person, regardless of the blowback, is really what we're asking people to do, while being mindful of the impact of being you will have on the people you love, that are connected to you, and that you might project these ideals inside, but yet you fail to live up to yourself, like leave room for the grace. And this last thing I use our Kelly sometime as an example when I'm describing level six energy. I remember being in a workshop and a young lady was like I know, you say level six energy and for those of you that don't know, you know DM me or send me an email about how to learn more about your energy leadership index assessment and how you show up energetically. With that said, this young lady was like you know, level six energy is talking about we're all connected, we're one or spiritual, we come from the same thing. Well, I'm not our Kelly. That ain't I don't do that right. And so I challenged her and I said you're not our Kelly.

Speaker 1:

His behavior egregious 1000%, 1000%, not excusing shit. Yet we do understand the plight that a hurt person has on other people, hurt people, indeed hurt other people. Now his hurt look like that. But don't get too above it where you don't understand how a hurt person hurts other people because you're hurting and that hurt comes out also in how you may raise your kids or how you show up at work. It's different levels and different consequences, but understanding that humans that are hurting will find other ways to hurt people and that looks like your serial killers, it looks like your abusers, some of these more extreme crimes, but we understand that. So don't think that you're above that, because we're all connected.

Speaker 1:

Just like we know how to love other people, right, the whole story isn't egregious and like, oh my God, you know, we just are just a group of humans that are just done like there's no hope for us, because, just how we know how to access that collectively through hurt, we also know what holding space for people, keeping it real with people, you and I being able to call each other on our bullshit and loving each other through our pain and the impact that that has on growing and creating more capacity for us to be better people or whatever that may mean, right? So again, there's the shine and there's the shadow of it. And our job here is to evoke that conversation, right, create the dialogue for you to get, so, for you to loosen up on what the things that you hold so fast to. Because there's a reason why you're holding so tight to that perspective, because it serves you and there might be a selfish benefit there that you're not keeping it a buck about because you're afraid of being rejected. You're afraid of someone saying, oh yeah, you think like that, yeah, you can't be a part of this community, right? And that varies even in our music choices and how we entertain ourselves. And so, with that said, man, I love having this talk with you, my brother, I'm with you, I'm with you and I think that you know what we're going to find is that, if we look closer at it, like, this is a microcosm for a lot of different things. Absolutely, man, right, right, we're just talking about one love, right, right, you know people, it don't matter they lying on the stand for somebody they love, right.

Speaker 1:

But then we want justice for the same person, bro, that's why heist movies are so. I've been sitting up here, I'm. I want the villain to get away. They're literally robbing, taking shit that is not theirs. Yeah, your money. I love Ocean's Eleven and the whole story is about Danny Ocean being brittle because some dudes that's what it checks, right. So he got to go rob, I got to go rob you, I got to teach you a lesson the pettiness of that, right, yeah, but it's entertaining AF, and I'm rooting for the Ocean's team to get away, evade the law. And I would have a fit again, depending on how I'm connected If the story was from a different vantage point, about how hard I forget his name, andy Garcia's character, how hard he is to build the casino and what he went through, and somebody just going to come in here and take my money because I'm dating his chick who chose freely, come on, man, who chose freely.

Speaker 1:

Jess was something to be conquered and now she's right-eyed. But, oh my God, look at what Danny's willing to do for my love. Okay, danny, I'll give you access again. Yeah, yeah, you stole 10 mil. We're good, we're good, we're good. But perspective and being able to walk around, whatever it is that we're evaluating and seeing different parts of the same whole is critical to our perspective and we need to do that more because we'll find ourselves a lot more alike than we think. Yeah, and you know where, a good place, that you can kind of find this out at A great place. Talk to me, man. You need to go to Columbia, man. There's something called the hero's journey. Talk about it, brother. Thank you for that, thank you for that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely Come in in August. Absolutely yeah, and we're waiting.

Speaker 1:

I mean again, I know the spots are limited. You ain't even really talking about it much. Yeah, Maybe you start with the take it off audience and let them know about the opportunity that may be in front of us Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So we just want to thank everybody for listening, supporting us. You know life. We're real humans out here to navigate and making things happen in our own personal lives. But when we get the opportunity to come together and record an episode and give you all just something else to just feed on and think about, and you still keep it humming, you still downloading and sharing and talking about it, and feedback gets back to us through other listeners, that's love, right, that's just love. So we appreciate that. Continue to do that. Rate us, evaluate us, tell us, judge us, tell us how to get better and what you want to hear.

Speaker 1:

And while that's all happening in the background, I'm building something else in the background called the hero's journey, with my buddy, michael Matari, who's another fellow iPad coach, and we're building a retreat for leaders, adventurers, executives, entrepreneurs that are excited about learning and growing and going through the process of self discovery, awareness and figuring out more innovative ways to show up authentically in your life, and do that with the community of people that are like minded, on that same ascent.

Speaker 1:

And so we're taking people out of their comfort zones and taking them to a foreign country in Terrona, colombia. I hate it when you do that. That trip is in August, the 12th through the 17th, and yeah, we got a beautiful place to house folks and some great activities. But all this information will be launching by April 1st. If you go to my social media, you'll see a reel that we just posted giving you a little insight about loving yourself, embracing you, similar to the stuff we talk about here on the podcast around seeing yourself wholly loving that whole self and then using that to grow. And yeah, we're going to be taking it off I don't know, literally taking it off in the jungle, but you know I was out there.

Speaker 2:

It's going to be hot. Yeah, you was out there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was hot. It was hot, but I figured these folks have been rocking with us for so long. I know that the spots are limited, so you know if they wanted something that was transformative and a chance to just see nature, you know you get to a space in your life where you age and you get in this routine and nothing changes. If nothing changes, like if you don't break that routine and do something for you to move towards the next version of you, the update, then it's not going to happen. And so I know there's probably a lot of people that I man can I afford the trip, can I afford the change? And again, he ain't paying me.

Speaker 1:

You know, I just know the power of you know we have a, we have a great relationship with a lot of layers, and I know that there was a time in my life where I was like man, I just I need some extra help. It's like I'm you know I'm winning in so many boxes, like if people were looking for me outside and they're like you're winning, you're making this, you have this connection with your kids, you know you're driving this. This is how people see you in your career. But what they didn't understand was what I was dealing with and, to be honest, it didn't really matter.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It didn't matter enough to me. I had conditioned the people around me for it not to matter. I enabled all of that behavior and I got to a space where it's like, man, am I going to? Am I going to do what I want to do for me? Am I going to make this transition? Am I going to make this change? And I knew that the window was closing. Like the window was closing, I was getting to a space where I was literally going to regret how this second half went and and and.

Speaker 1:

I had a coach in practice before. It's like I intuitively understand all these things but would not allow anybody to have to hold space for me, because how could the coach wait? I'm the coach. What do you mean? Getting coached? Doesn't that disqualify you from helping other people if you need help? As asinine as that thought sounds. And then Joshua had been talking about leaving his job for about a year and stepping out and the moment I saw what he was doing and he had put it the work in private. He went and trained in private. You know he's on his whole. Batman begins. He's out there climbing the mountain. I was on my hero's journey, man.

Speaker 1:

He's on he was on his own hero's journey, and then I couldn't wait to support, and at beginning I supported, because this is my guy. He supported me. I'm going to support him. Little did I know how it was going to transform areas of my life that I didn't even know need attending to. And so what I will say with this opportunity, I don't care what the cost is. It pales in comparison to your freedom. It pales in comparison to finding a community who is going to serve you and help you move towards being the best version of yourself. It pales in comparison to your peace, and you've been spending a lot of money on a lot of things that have not worked, have not helped you, spending on a lot of people that are, that are gone, that are not here. This is a space to invest in you, and just look it up. I promise you I'm co-signing It'll be good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah absolutely Absolutely. Yeah, we got details again websites, price points and packages and all that dropping here relatively soon, before the 1st of April. But yeah, just if any of this interests you and you, what is it that's saying? We go fast by ourselves and we go farther together. This relation here is a testament to that. This brother supported me. He was my first client that bought a packaging package for me. Again, I talk about this story all the time and I could not believe it. I looked at Amber and I was like he said he's doing what he said he was going to do, like that was powerful. Just do what you say you're going to do. You want to transform your life, do it. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that. What is required to step into a space, to upgrade right, to enhance that message isn't for everybody, because there's a lot of comfort in staying right, where you are and we're not judging, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I get why you don't want to be confronted with who you are, because there's a lot of fear there, because then there's a responsibility to use what you now know about who you are. I was funny, I was man. You got me on this last tangent. I said some people and I'm one of them I dread going to get my car serviced. You know why? Because they are going to show me a laundry list of things that need to be attended to and I don't want to say I don't even want to deal with the pressure of now. I know I need some new blaze, I need to do this and I need to do that. I just came in here for that, but now I got all this other stuff that got exposed because I'm servicing my vehicle and that happens in coaching sessions. You came in here because you want to do this. I'm servicing you. Oh, oh, oh. That's going on. I don't need to meet with them, no more. I got people that this is real shit. I didn't reach out to a few folks and I'm talking to you because I know you're probably listening to my podcast here with my brother, jeremy Rubin Look, your next session.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, don't run away from the power that you are uncovering consciously, because it's frightening. It's like damn. Do I stay in this relationship? Do I stay in this marriage? Do I stay with this job? Do I stay this? Do I stay that? Because it was comfortable, just not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, but when you give access to people to learn more about how, how really dope and powerful they are that's not for everybody.

Speaker 1:

Can I speak?

Speaker 2:

to that, can I tell?

Speaker 1:

you. So the two things that came up out of out of my sessions messing with Josh, like I'm not ignorant anymore, like what I mean by that is I know. So the two things where you need to make space for your dream, which my dream is development stories that go to whether there's movie streaming services, whatever and when I say stories that could be movie series, I am a natural storyteller. It is he's walking in right now. They come to me Right. So, so they come to me Right. What are you going to do, right? So, making space for your dream, and then, even more importantly, is doing gathering the discipline to get into the shape that I need to get into. Those are the two things. Make space for your dream, right, like, what are we doing? Are we writing daily? Are we developing something to go to the stage? What's?

Speaker 2:

the pressure yeah.

Speaker 1:

What it right and stay consistently in the gym. I'm up and down with those things, but I know what it is and the responsibility of that. Now it's simple, but it's not easy. Yeah, but you make it more movement, yeah. So wards those things that you now consciously are aware of. Then you would be making, if you never even open that box, it would just be a low humming nine. Yeah, it would just not at you. It was not at you. That nine is different. Now there's like a I know what I should be doing for myself and I'm consistently inconsistent in a space that I wasn't consistent at all. For sure. Right, that's progress. That's enough to shake and move you into spaces you never even dreamed you being, because now we're feeding the effort there, because we're aware, versus shit, bro, I'm just working this job.

Speaker 1:

I want to write stories, but not making the priority like at all, but even it's not even on my radar as something that's even possible to do. Pop up event, inviting a team of 20 to 25 women to sit down and hear me speak about my dream and how I'm going to take their feedback and organize it into transformational tools and systems that free people through through media, through video, through movie, through stage, through the arts man. How much does that cost? What a price to put a price tag on that? Right, because many of us won't, we'll, we'll, we'll distract ourselves with another Louis, another empty vacation to distract ourselves from the avoidant places in our life, from the places we want to avoid in our lives. Because we know my vacation should be attached to a trip to Columbia, because I've always wanted to coach internationally. So I'm going to do my whole dream altogether all at once.

Speaker 1:

That was that's why I went. I was like this is something I want to do, so let me just combine things that make it happen versus me sitting in some, some ivory tower making. Yeah, life is great. Again, this is not for everybody. Everybody doesn't want to work on your dream. That's OK, and you can be wildly successful not working on your dream. There are millionaires right now that are miserable because they're supposed to be doing something else to free people and free themselves. But priorities look different and there's nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that. But I'm talking to the person that finds something wrong with that. I'm talking to that individual that's looking for a way out to level love in a space that they've just accepted without question, because it's convenient to do so.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, come, come, join us on the hero journey. There's something for you that's going to free you and transform you, because it's for you, not anybody else. We're done serving people without boundaries, so they can have a limitless expectations of our service, because they benefit directly from it, with nothing in return from you other than just your compliance to help them for you to be the hero in their story. And you're left empty handed. You can't get what you don't have. Right, it's that simple. Go get what you need from this life before you can't, because that day is coming too. That day is coming too. That's the altar call right there. Yeah, so download, listen, share, join our social media platform. Tell us what you want to hear. We're taking it off every episode. I think I'm down to my speedos with how much?

Speaker 1:

we didn't unveiled skin. What is wrong with you? I don't know. I was thinking about dropping an older fans link in the show notes. I'm done. I'm done. So, they can see my love girl. We're out. Thank you for. Thank you for he's tired, my son is tired. Thank you for.

Speaker 2:

How much do you?

Speaker 1:

think I can charge people to see my love girl.

Speaker 2:

I don't think anybody's like you know, I don't know, I don't test the market.

Speaker 1:

She was good, you know. I mean, hey, if that's where you choose to go, I support you wholeheartedly from the sidelines.

Speaker 2:

Appreciate you.

Speaker 1:

I will not be first in line to support that subscription. Yeah, you could probably do a whole asrm. I'm not doing anything. Also, money out there I got to be made. Bro M occurs everyday.

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